What I Want My Daughter to Know

As 2012 quickly becomes 2013 & as Punky Jr's first birthday is upon us (Jan. 5) I want to tell her a few things that I hope she always remembers. Days come, days go, weeks turn into months, and years go by. I hope to get to watch her grow up, get married, have kids of her own (when she is about 30), but if God has other plans I want her to know a few things.

1. You are unique and that is wonderful. God doesn't make copies. God made you special. Be the person that God created you to be. Be proud of who you are.

2. You loved forever and always. Not only do Mommy and Daddy and all your relatives love you, but more importantly GOD loves. God offers you salvation, not because of anything you did, but because you are a unique creation of His. Accept His gift, believe it with all your heart. This is the most important thing you will ever learn.

3. You are beautiful. You may not feel like it, and some days the mirror may seem to say you are not. But, even with bedhead, in pj's & with a runny nose, your are beautiful. Your eyes are gorgeous. Your nose is cute. Your hair has just enough curl. From head to toe, you are beautiful. Don't listen to what the world says, don't compare yourself to a magazine (that is not reality), listen to God whispering to you. He thinks you are beautiful, and so do I!

4. If you work hard, if you apply yourself, if you don't take "no" as the last word, you can achieve your dreams. If you sit on your butt, if you just wish things would change, you won't get past the couch. You have to be willing to put in the effort.

5. Sex can be a LOT of fun. But, if it is outside of marriage it carries a lot consequences. Remember sex creates babies. If you are not ready to be a Mom, don't have sex. Also, there are health risks. Be wise and wait till your wedding day. There are many reasons God designed sex to be only between a man and his wife. Trust Him, and trust your parents. Sex is MORE fun when you do it God's way.

6. Respect all those around you. Say please, thank you, I'm sorry, and excuse me. People will appreciate it and respect you more for your good manners. If you see someone that needs help, help them. Be kind to all those around you, men, women, children and animals.

7. Be neat and organized. It may take some time to get organized and to initially clean a space, but it will save time in the long run, and it is more inviting and more relaxing to be in a clean, organized environment.

8. You are not too good to work hard. Scrubbing, sweeping, laundry, helping others, do it. By doing so, and giving everything your best you are serving the Lord.

9. There are a lot of things in our world that are fun, that are enticing, that you will want to try. Not all these things are good for you. Smoking, getting drunk, doing drugs, these all carry health and other consequences, they are not worth it. Not to mention they are expensive habits.

10. When choosing what to watch, read, or do think wisely. Remember that your actions reflect your heart. Do your actions reflect a heart that loves and wants to please the Lord in all you do?

11. All people are different. Jesus teaches us to love everyone. We may not agree with their lifestyle or religious choices but we still need to love them. Condoning and loving are too different things. If you can learn this, you are a wise woman.

12. Pray, pray and pray some more. It is the best way to use your time. There will be times when you feel like praying is not doing enough, when you are down on your knees and you just feel helpless, but you are praying so you are doing a BIG thing. You are approaching Heaven, talking to God, and there is nothing better than that!

13. Be wise with your money. You may have a lot and if so, be thankful for the blessing. You may have a little and if so, make each penny count. You will always have more than someone. Share. Remember to tithe. Each penny comes from God, if you diligently return to Him a portion He will bless that obedience.

14. Jealousy is a waste of time. You will come across people that have more material blessings than you do, but if you remain faithful to the Lord, act in love, you will be reaping eternal rewards and those far outshine anything on this earth. Remember, just because someone may seem to have enough to be happy- they may not be. Life isn't about stuff (that is a lie that far too many believe), it is about our character.

15. Honesty really is the best policy. It may not always help you win or get ahead, but it is the best. It earns you respect, and it is easier to remember the truth than a bunch of lies. Your lies will eventually come back to haunt you.

16. If you follows this advice, people will want to be your friend. You will be the type of person that people respect, that people want to be around. Be choosy when picking friends. Find people that will be loyal and true. When you do, value them. Solid friendships are very special. As much as your Daddy and I love you, we know that as you get older it will be your friends you turn to for sympathy, fun, encouragement, support. Even so, NEVER forget that we are always here for you, no matter what! We love you with all our hearts and then some.

17. When you are looking for a husband look for a man that believes in Christ. This will guide all His decisions. Also, look for someone that respects all women, for you are one. Find a man that values family time over worldly pursuits, but someone that works hard and is willing to provide and protect. Find someone that you can be totally yourself with, that you enjoy doing things with and doing nothing with. Find someone loyal, loving and cute (you do have to look at him). Remember cute/sexy is in the eye of the beholder, and it is more than just skin and bones.

FINALLY...

18. I am your mommy, I need lots of hugs and mommy/daughter time. Even when you are all grown up, you will always be this precious life that was given to me to nurture and care for. My heart is full of love for you. So call and come over more than you want, because it will not be enough for me! I love you and always will. No matter what!

PS...even when you are in trouble, you are still loved, you just need to learn to do things differently, God's way.

-Mommy-

Traveling w/ Punky Jr.

Punky Jr. and Mommy are getting ready to go on a BIG trip. We are going to fly to the land of the Packers to visit some of my family. I am really looking forward to seeing my sis, brother in law, nephew and mom for a few days, but I am NOT looking forward to getting up at 3:30 in the morning to make it to the airport on time. I am not looking forward to the confined space of the airplane or the changes we have to make at 2 major airports.

Yet, even the parts I am not looking forward to as much are going to be fun because I'll be making memories with my daughter. She will probably never remember this trip, but I know that I will. I will remember the early morning snuggles. I will remember her look when she sees her Mama, cousin and Aunt again. I will remember the activities.

With all that in mind I am probably going over prepared but I believe it is better to be over prepared than under prepared. So, she has lots of food (in case we miss a flight or have some other delays), diapers, books, medicine (she is teething) and clothes in the carry-on. She has lots of cute stuff to wear in the checked luggage and while it will be an early morning and the craziness of travel we will make it a fun day, and by lunch time we will be with family!

10 years ago I couldn't imagine a day like this-- I couldn't really imagine excitedly preparing to travel, to be surrounded by strangers and in charge of someone else, in charge of a vulnerable little baby. I am so thankful that God was patient with me as I struggled with the aftermath of my rape. I am thankful that God never gave up on me. I am thankful that God was and is there for me, each and every day and that I can face the things that scare because I have the courage God gives me. Not only can I face them, but I can embrace them, I can see the joy at the end of the line and that gives me joy throughout the journey!!!

May you begin to feel the love, comfort and courage that God wants to fill you with.

Happy Advent to one and all!!!

-JP-

Christmas Joy?

A young girl grew up surrounded by friends and family. She grew up knowing that she was loved. She had a circle of support, and it was held together not be the design of the circle, but by the designer, by God. God was above the circle, below the circle and in the center of the circle. It was not an idyllic childhood or adolescence but it was a loving environment.

As a young adult she soaked up all the time with her 2 grand mothers. She just loved spending time with them, especially at Christmas. Christmas was always a special time for our heroine. She loved the traditions her family celebrated and she especially loved getting to worship the baby in the manger because He was the King of Kings, and He took such good care of her.

Then, one summer as she was in her mid 20's one of her beloved Grandmothers was taken up into Heaven to be reunited with her husband and more importantly to be at the feet of Jesus. The girl was excited for her grandma, who wouldn't be!?! Grandma was up in Heaven! Grandma's suffering was over, Grandma's loneliness for her husband was over. Yet, death meant that Grandma wasn't here anymore. Nevermore would she be able to call Grandma up and share the good news, or call her up for sympathy and a listening ear. Summer days sitting in the back yard listening to the creek or winter evenings watching Jeopardy together were over.

More importantly Christmas would change. Grandma would get to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus as she knelt  before Him, but her place down here was empty. That first Christmas was rough. It was still Christmas, the lights on the houses and the trees were still beautiful, the presents were still fun to give and Jesus' birthday cake was yummy, but Christmas was not the same.

Nothing is ever the same when someone we love dies. Death changes everything. Death leaves a void, a hole in our hearts that no surgeon will ever be able to fix, no words will ever totally soothe. Death hurts because death is the last thing God wanted for His special creation. Death makes Christmas twice as hard because Christmas is a celebration of birth, of life, of our Savior.

This year, so many of us are struggling to have a joyous Christmas. Joy to the World just seems ironic when the joy in our hearts is hard to find. Yet, God does want us to have joy. God does want us to celebrate because God loves us. God offers us hope through the pain.

God offers us a little baby. A smiling, cooing, kicking, pooping little baby. God offers us Himself. We need to keep the memory of those we love alive. We need to honor them, but we also need to let ourselves find that joy that is tucked away in our hearts behind the pain. We need to let God take the teeny tiny, itsy bitsy little fleck of joy and turn it into something that warms our hearts.

God gave us that little Baby knowing that after the angels sang, the shepherds rejoiced and the wise men worshiped, the people would mock and eventually kill. Yet, God still celebrated that night. God knew what was to come and I bet a part of Him hurt for what Christ would have to experience, yet still God celebrated.

So, even if it is just for a couple minutes in the midst of heartache, fear, worry, stress, pain, let yourself celebrate, let yourself feel the joy of the season.

May we all find it in ourselves to have a merry Christmas season and to partake of the Christmas joy of Christ.

-JP-

GUEST AUTHOR!!! Precarious Yates!!! GUEST AUTHOR!!!

The Heart of the Caveat Whale is a story about an orphan named Shunda, a warrior named Qoshonni and a prince named Mookori. In the first book, The Captives, Shunda meets Mookori and befriends while he looks for other aquavians, those who can live in water and on land. He learns that aquavians, human-like beings that love peace, laughter and growing things, have been corrupted to fight for the MerKing.

In Book 2, Pyromarne, Shunda leaves his friend Mookori to find allies to help them fight the MerKing. But the MerKing has a secret weapon no one anticipates.

These books are filled with poetry and songs around the stories. Here is one of the songs below:

A song from Pyromarne, book 2 of

The Heart of the Caveat Whale

I saw a goat float on a boat on the river one fine spring morn.

I gave a sigh and plied for why a goat should look so forlorn.

He said his date ate late: at eight, and he could not wait around;

He had to eat a treat of wheat he found on her family's ground.

The sire grew dire, his eyes afire, his sweet wheat stolen, and how!

He chased the goat to the boat to float on the river and made him vow:

To address this mess with finesse, no less, and promise to bring some seed

To sow a row he'd never mow with teeth so given to greed.

This goat, smitten and so love bitten, did no less than what he was told,

And expressed remorse, or forced his course, by bringing his love marigold.

Pyromarne is FREE for the Kindle Tuesday 11/13/12 through Thursday 11/15/12

Link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009H68R44

The Captives is FREE for the Kindle Wednesday 11/14/12 through Thursday 11/15/12

Link: http://www.amazon.com/Captives-Heart-Caveat-Whale-ebook/dp/B008GNOSGU

Author Precarious Yates lives 500 miles from the closest beach but hopes that will change. When she’s not dreaming about tropical paradises, she teaches homeschool, plays tag, cares for her chickens, and works to raise awareness about modern slavery.

To God Be the Glory!

Nov. 6, 2012 millions of Americans went to the polls and re-elected President Obama for a 2nd term in office. A lot of us were dismayed late last night when the truth was revealed. People were ready to move in another direction and hopefully a direction that will lead toward prosperity. Yet, enough Americans thought that continuing the follow the leader and going forward in his direction was the right move for America.

Whether you agree with President Obama, or you are busy preparing for doomsday, God is still on His throne. As a mom I hope that my daughter learns that presidents come and go, but Jesus is King and He rules forever. Jesus knew what was going to happen last night, Jesus knows what is going to happen during this upcoming presidential term.

To God be the glory! God created us to love and serve Him, God gave us the free will to choose anything. Last night we Americans chose President Obama (and a majority of Democrats to fill Senate seats). We can also choose how we will react to this news. We can choose to praise God through this, or we can choose to be depressed and worried. We can choose to give God the glory that He deserves.

Whether you are pro-Obama or pro-Someone Else, let us use the current events to spur us on to spread the love of Jesus. Obama has 4 more years, but Jesus has forever. Obama has limited power, but Jesus' power is limitless. Obama surrounds himself with imperfect (human) advisers and makes human choices, Jesus has perfect knowledge and rules the world accordingly. May we see today (whether we consider it a victory or a concession) as a chance to get out and do the Lord's work and bring Him glory!

Let today be a day where you tell your children, "I used today to serve my King. I used today to share His love with others. I used today to focus on Him and heal what needed healing in my life. I used today to say To GOD BE THE GLORY!"

-JLP- 

God and Fog

This morning I woke up to a very foggy day. The fog was thick that it hid the cornfield right behind our house. I love fog. It is beautiful and mysterious. The familiar becomes the unknown. Time seems to slow down during a foggy day. Fog is one of God's more unique and expressive ideas.

Fog is also like God and like Christianity. We read the Bible, we pray, we go to church and learn about God. We become familiar with Him. Then we have a day or an experience and all of a sudden God seems hidden, just like the cornfield was this morning. We know that God is there that He hasn't moved, yet we can't see or feel Him as easily. Our knowledge tells us God is still there, but our experience says "I can't see him, I'm lost."

It is very easy to get lost and turned around during a thick fog experience. You can walk in circles and not even know it. I know that in my life I've done this a few times with God. I know where He, and I know who He is, but my experiences have me going in circles and getting nowhere.

What is the answer? Today I just had to wait for the fog to "burn off" and slowly the cornfield was revealed. When it comes to Christ I have to do the same thing. I keep reading and praying and slowly the veil of knowledge and feeling is lifted and once more I am headed in the right direction. It is about faith and trust and knowing that even in the fog God is still there and still watching out for me and that if I am patient I will once more see Him.

-JLP-

Why I Smile

Hi! I hear that Mommy calls me Punky Jr. here on her blog. I kinda like that. I think that it means I'm spunky and a lot of fun, which I am. I'm GREAT, or so everyone tells me. Don't tell Mommy but I am doing her blog today. I thought it would be fun, she sure seems to think writing is fun.

Today I want to talk about why I smile and giggle all the time. I smile and giggle because it is so much fun! Life is fun! During the day I get to play with Mommy A LOT, and we do lots of neat things. We go for walks where Mommy pushes me in the stroller, now that's living, though if I could walk I could go where I want to go! We also read a lot, books are so interesting. I am learning to count, learning about colors, science and fairy tales. My favorite book though is my Precious Moments book about Easter. Or maybe my Bearenstain Bears book about being sick.

What else do we do? We eat, and food is yummy. I especially love fruit, or whatever Mommy has on her plate. Her food is always yummier, so I try to get a few bites! I give her my cute smile and just like that I get a couple of bites! I also spend time in my bouncy chair thing, that is fun!!! Oh and we dance a LOT, mommy LOVES to dance with me and the way she dances is CRAZY, I think my Mommy is a bit weird, but she loves me so being weird is ok. Let's see...I'm just 9 months old so remembering things is hard. Oh yeah, I am learning how to play ball! That is fun because we can play outside and after we pass the ball back and forth Mommy lets me swing in my swing and I go so HIGH, it is like I am flying!

Oh, I think Mommy is coming and she has a bottle, so I'm going! Mommy says today is Windsday, but I think she is wrong, it isn't windy at all, it is sunny so it must be Sunday. Whatever day it is, have a happy one and remember to smile because smiles are fun!

-Punky-

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

It is just about THAT time again! The time when kisses happen under mistletoe, sleigh bells ring, chestnuts roast on upon fires and Jack Frost comes nipping our noses! The most wonderful time of the year! I am very excited to celebrate Christmas this year with my husband, daughter and his family (and of course all of our friends)! I hope that Punky Jr. learns to love Christmas as much as I do.

It isn't just the presents, the beautiful lights or the fun songs that are so magical to me. It is being in His presence and celebrating His birth, knowing that Jesus is the most wonderful gift the world will ever know, the only gift the world really needs! Jesus is the reason for the season.

Darby and I plan to make Christ the central focus of our celebrating, yet Christmas should also be a lot of fun. I know that our Lord has a sense of humor (we get it from Him) so I know that He enjoys having fun and wants us to have fun as well. One tradition that we are starting this year is the Elf on the Shelf tradition (gotta go order my elf)! The elf was originally designed to remind kids to be good. The elf starts out on a shelf, but every night after the kids go to bed he goes back to the North Pole to report to Santa on the behavior in the house.

I really have no problem with Santa, I think stories about Santa are fun. They are make believe and fun. Yet, I see easy ways to turn the Elf on the Shelf into lessons about Christ. The Elf watching over us reminds us that Jesus is sees EVERYTHING, Jesus is watching us and it makes Him happy when we do what we should. On the other hand it makes Him sad when we are naughty. I do think it will be fun to see where Mr. Elf pops up each morning!

There are so many traditions that I can't wait to celebrate with my family and as Punky Jr. grows up I can't wait to pass on those traditions to her. Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year, and that is why I can't wait to decorate our house and prepare to celebrate the most important birthday ever!

What are your favorite Christmas traditions that you are really excited about this year?

-JLP-

I THOUGHT I Knew!

Growing up I spent a lot of time babysitting. I have always loved being around kids. Kids are such a joy to life. So I thought that I was 100% prepared to be a mother. I am an expert at changing diapers, making bottles and playing with little kids. I love to read to kids, cuddle babies and play. So, I'm going to be pretty good at this mothering thing, right!?!

Famous last words! I am good at changing Punky's diaper and feeding her. She and I play a lot and we have fun and she is happy and healthy, so in the grand scheme of things everything is going really well. Most of all she knows that she is very very loved and that is what is most important.

The part that has thrown me for a loop though is her development. Being around all sorts of babies in my life I know that every child develops at their own rate. Some have teeth by 5 months, some by 13. Some babies crawl early and a lot, some babies for a day or two and by 10 months they are off and walking all around the house. Each baby has her own schedule for when she is going to accomplish something new.

I was not ready to worry about Punky and stress that she isn't doing everything as quickly as her friends! As a counselor and someone that has studied and understands child development I know that she is just fine. Yet as a mother I want my baby to be able to do what she seems to want to do, but hasn't figured out! The mother in me worries for her! I was not prepared for that feeling!!!

I thought I knew all about what I was going to feel and how this parenting thing would go! Alas, babysitting and being a nanny is not the same as being a mother! Being a mother just means that you worry. I want the best for her.  I am learning though that she is just fine, when she is good and ready she will buckle down and figure things out, and till that day we are going to relax and enjoy the stage that we are in and soak up all the cuddles before she is off to the races!

-JLP-

I Dreamed WHAT!?!

I have no earthly idea why, but I tend to have the craziest, most outlandish dreams of anyone I know. I can usually trace where many of the elements came from, but still why they combine in such a way I do not know. A lot of my friends and family say that I should make them into a book, maybe one day I will. It would definitely go in the comedy section.

I have been fighting a cold (day 8 now) and this morning Punky Jr. and I were resting in the master bed when we both drifted off. I had Fox News on when I fell asleep and as I slept I was whisked away into one of the weirdest dreams that I have had, and that is saying something. The amazing thing for me is how well I remember my dreams. I remember my dreams better and longer than I remember most real life events (my psych friends would enjoy that tidbit)! Honestly! Here for your enjoyment is my dream!

I was at home with my husband, daughters (Punky was 3 and her lil twin sisters Addy and Alex-short for Alexandra were 18 months). It was Nov. 1 and we were gearing up to watch the last presidential debate when we get a telegram informing us that the venue for the debate had to be changed due to terrorist threat so the new venue was our house.

Now, we lived in a forested area outside of Charlottesville, VA. We were on Afton Mountain overlooking Waynesboro. We had about 5 acres of land. It was very pretty. We lived in a log home that my husband and his company designed and built. It was 3 stories.

You entered a grand foyer and to your left was a spiral staircase that spanned all three levels. In the "basement" (it was a walk-out in the back, had a great patio) were two wings each had a 2 bedroom 1 bath in-law suite. In the center was a living area with a galley kitchen and Darby's man space complete with pool table, home gym, and a state of the art entertainment and gaming area.  On the first floor was open living space with a living room, dining area and state of the art kitchen. There was also a master suite which led to my library/writer's room.

The top level was the kid level. It had a dedicated study/reading space, tv/play space and each kid had their own bedroom, specially designed for them. They shared a generously sized bathroom.  From the study space you could access the attic where we kept all our Christmas stuff (and it was a lot).

As soon as I received the telegram I began to panic! How was I going to decorate the house to look tv ready for the debate? Darby looked at me and said, "Don't worry the girls and I will help." I laughed because I knew 18 month old girls were not much help decorating! Not long after a bunch of my girl friends showed up (Amanda, Kaley, Jessy, Candice, Noelle, Kim, Christina, Bethany, Sherri, Amy and Kimberly). It was an army of awesome helpers!

Only they were dressed in normal clothes, they were dressed up as Disney characters (Amanda was Belle, Kaley was Pocahontas, Jessy was McQueen, Candice was Eeyore, Noelle was Cinderella, Kim was Tigger, Christina was Mrs. Potts, Bethany was Lady from Lady and the Tramp, Sherri was Nemo, Amy was Goofy and Kimberly was Pooh Bear). I'm beginning to wonder what was going and why they were dressed up but there was no time to talk. Darby went up into the attic and before I knew it the house was decorated for Christmas!

Now, I said we lived in a log house and that is not totally true, the more I looked at it the more I realized that it was not logs at all that made our house, but baby bottles painted to look like logs! That threw me for a loop! I began to hope that America wouldn't think I was weird, living in the baby bottle house!

We were about half finished when the candidates showed up to prepare! It wasn't Obama and Romney though. It was Bob the Tomato (from Veggie Tales) and Papa Bear (from the Bearenstain Bears). Bob was the Whig party candidate and Papa was a Federalist.

Punky and her sisters of course wanted autographs. And to talk, and they got all excited when they were told that the candidates would be here for awhile, so Punky said, "Daddy has a hidden swimming pool in his dog pound, you want to go swimming?" Of course they did, and we all went downstairs only it wasn't the man space anymore but a full fledged water park!

I didn't know what twilight zone I was in, I wanted to go upstairs and relax while everyone (thing!?!) was downstairs partying. So I walked up the stairs only I wasn't in my living room when I got upstairs, but a lamp, it looked like the inside of the lamp on the old television show. I was just trying to figure out how to escape when I woke up.

*******************************

I hope you enjoyed. I certainly thought it was interesting!

-JLP-

Life...Very Valuable!

For a few months back in 2002 I was mired in a pit of despair. I was confused, angry, scared, hurt, lost and felt totally alone. I was alive but I was in such a place emotionally that I was not really living, just existing. I didn't want to just exist, so I tried to end it all.  God had something else to say. My time here was not up.  Since that dark dark night I have learned that even when things seem bleakest, life is very valuable. God loves us and wants to help, to shine His light in our lives, to fill us with love and joy.

Life at all stages is very valuable. From before conception our lives, or days are known by God. He knew us before we were born, He knit us in the womb, He created us to be the special individual that we each are. As we grow and develop God is there, holding us, guiding us, encouraging us to learn, to grow and to know Him. Throughout life we learn, we gain wisdom and hopefully we seek His face and develop an abiding love for our Savior.

As seniors we will hopefully have a wisdom that comes from life experiences and from a lifetime of communing with the Savior and his Holy Spirit. Pre-born babies are awesome and amazing, fragile and special. Old people are also awesome and amazing, there is a lot that we can learn from them.

Yet, this 21st century American culture values neither the pre-born or the long lived. Both are seen as disposable. The pre-born are disposable because they can't defend themselves, we can't see them with the naked eye, so they are obviously not "alive". The long lived are no longer able to work to provide money for the government (so it can share the wealth) so they are not important either, they life is almost over so why not hasten it?  (sounds eerily like communism)

I fear that God up in Heaven is looking down in dismay at how we don't value each other. Not only in life and death matters, but we are not nice to each other! We are rude, hateful, bullies! We hurt each other physically and emotionally. We are not a loving, Christ following culture.

In God's eye all life is valuable. Everyone deserves love and respect. Everyone is a special creation, a child created by HIM. If only more of us could see with God's eyes, could feel with God's heart. If only more people had God's hands and feet.

Dear Lord,
   As I go about my day help me to see each person as you see them. Help me to reflect Your love with my actions. Help me to value life the way You do!

Thank you.

-JLP-

Checking My Attitude

In just about 2 weeks my book, Joyfully After All will hit the online "shelves" on amazon.com! It has been quite an adventure, and a huge answer to a life time of prayers. Nothing worth while seems to happen quickly or without effort, and this book certainly has been a long time coming and a lot of effort, but that just makes me even prouder to finally say I am a published author!

Part of the struggle has been to find the time to work on the book and the marketing and meet the needs of my husband and daughter. As most mothers can relate, working (even working from home), being a wife, and a mother are each full time jobs and to hold down all 3 is quite the juggling act! The first thing to go is generally sleep.

I am feeling the lack of sleep today, not sure why it hit me so hard today but about an hour ago I hit a wall and I am pressing on because bed time will not be till 9 or 10 pm. It is on days like today that I have to remind myself to always be checking my attitude. Being tired can easily lead to being crabby and impatient and that is not fair to my daughter or my husband, so I have to constantly say a quick prayer, "Lord you know that I am tired and trying to serve my family. Please help me to have the necessary energy and an attitude that honors you."

No matter what you are juggling in your life, make sure you check your attitude. It may not be easy, but your family, friends, and co-workers will appreciate it and having a pleasing attitude in the midst of the drudgery of daily life is a great way to model Christ!

Save your pennies for Joyfully After All! It will be worth every one, I promise!

-JLP-

Putting On My Big Girl Pants

Do you ever feel totally run down? Between the kids, the pets, taking care of the home, your spouse, and your job life just gets so busy! It can leave a mother EXHAUSTED and feeling like she is running on empty. I have been feeling like this recently. 

I work from home as a self-published author. I take care of the home and our 8 month old daughter. I also have been dealing with trying to get our daughter insurance coverage (this ordeal began when I was pregnant so we are well into the 1 year mark of frustrations upon frustrations). There are times like today when I just want to throw up my arms and say "I'm finished! I have no more to give!". I then want to hop on the train and ride the rails till I find a secluded snowy cabin where I can recharge for a few days. 

Yet, running away is not possible and it will not solve any problems. In fact I'd probably come home to even more, bigger problems! So, I continue on. I keep working on my book and moving quickly toward publication. I savor every moment with my daughter and when I'm on the phone I take a deep breath and say, "Lord help me to win this battle by responding Christ like and remaining faithful. I know you are taking care of us and even this frustration You can handle". I also have found the website Pintrest to be quite therapeutic. I enjoy finding new ways to come up with gifts for house-warmings, birthdays, holidays, etc. I have found lots of good activities to remember as our daughter grows, and I even used some ideas when decorating our home! Pintrest is great for a gal on a TIGHT budget! 

Being a mother is WONDERFUL. Staying home with her everyday and pursuing my dream of becoming a fairly successful author is a dream come true! I am very blessed and I love my position as: wife, mom, author. Yet, as wonderful as it is, it is still life and life comes with stress, so on days like today when I feel like I can't go on I have to remember just how far I've already traveled in my journey with the Lord and I put on my big girl pants, and continue on. 

"Let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1b-2)

How I Met Your Father

In 1979 a young boy was born. He had an older brother. As a child his parents would divorce and with the ensuing remarriage of his marriage this young boy gained an older step-sister and younger step brother. The home was full of noise, mess and love.

Yet, not all was idyllic for this blended family. The boy needed the attention and approval of his biological father. As he grew up he was not a docile child and he made his parents age before their time. He was an athlete, a slob and had not a very good hold on his temper.

As a young adult he worked a few odd jobs and moved in his older brother and sister in law. Eventually he would come to work with his brother as a carpenter, but he was far from grown up. He liked women and wanted the experiences of as many as possible. He wanted to experience as much of the world as he could, while living in his little corner of it. His was a wild life.

In 1983 a young girl was born. She had an older sister. She was raised in the church and her parents ran a Christian high school. She was a book worm, athlete and had trouble with classmates- just could not seem to make all the kids happy and was on the bad end of bullying. Her home was full of activities, clutter and love.

Not all was idyllic for her either. Yes, her parents had a rock solid relationship, but she struggled to gain their attention, to live up to the standards her older sister set. In her mind she was competing with the girl that came first, and it was an un-winable race.

As a young adult she left home and attended college in the big city. She wanted to experience as much of the world as possible, so she went out to get it. Unfortunately for her experiencing the world is not always safe and she found that out in a very real way. Two men raped her early one morning.

This girl that was taught to love the Lord and trust Him in everything had her foundation shaken and spiraled into a few years of despair and questioning, searching to find the truth to life when it turns out that the world isn't what you expected.  Eventually she found her way back to the Lord and dedicated her life to helping other women and trying to save them some of the anguish that she experienced.

As the girl was training for her life as a counselor, the young man was growing up too. He was learning what maturity meant, what it means to be accountable, and what life is really all about. Along came a movie "Fireproof" and that wild boy who lived for women and fun times saw that there is more than just parties. There is love, commitment and shared experiences, there is the Lord. That began his real journey of faith.

The girl was in grad school working on her degree, preparing to return to her home state across the country, ready to settle down and start her own family, hoping her kids could go to her old elementary school one day.  Then, on a whim she signed up for an online dating service, just to see who was out there.

He caught her eye, tall, redhead and cute. They started talking but it was an  unlikely match. The former wild child, and the formerly broken girl. Yet, it was a match made in Heaven by the Father. They started dating, and then on a hot summer day, overlooking a beautiful valley he proposed and she said "Yes".

This is no fairy tale, so it doesn't end here with "happily ever after". Our story continues. We got married, and right after our first anniversary we welcomed our daughter into our family. Two very different people, made one marriage and that marriage grew to become a family of 3. We have our ups and downs because we are different, our backgrounds are different, and we think differently. Yet, we are bound together by love and commitment. Not only for each other, but for the Lord and for our family.

We will weather each storm, even the ones that by all logic should tear us apart, because we are not held together by logic but by love and love overcomes all-- the Love of God overcame our sin, it can surely overcome the struggles of life.

So, Punky that is how I met your father.

-Mommy-

Giving Her the World

There is something that all parents deal with. We love our children and we want to give them everything, only since most of us are not related to Oprah, Bill Gates and Donald Trump giving our children everything is not in the confines of the family budget. 

Following a family budget is important. Yes, we all may stumble and have to borrow from Peter to pay Paul once in awhile, but not only is it good to stay out of debt, but it is teaching our children valuable life lessons as well. As much as we may want to give our children everything-- what they really need is not a playroom full of stuff but a playroom full of memories. It is the time we spend investing in our kids that they will remember. The fancy toys and games are great, but if you can't afford them they are not worth the price. 

One of my favorite memories as a kid comes from Saturday mornings. Dad would take us with him to work (he was an assistant superintendent of a school) and while he was getting things done us kids would run upstairs (the upstairs had 1 long hallway) go up the ramp to one of the classrooms, get the chairs with wheels and race down the hallway. Dad would come up and join us sometimes, or when his work was done we would all go play in the school's gym. Those days are never to be forgotten and they didn't cost my parents a penny! Yes, I appreciate all that they did spend on us (especially my education) but it isn't about the money it is about knowing that they loved us and loved being with us. 

I want my little snowflake to have the same sorts of memories. I want her to remember the trips, the crazy things we did as a family, the time we invested in her. In my eagerness to give her such memories I have found Pintrest to be a wonderful wealth of ideas. I can log on and found lots of ideas of things to do with her that are fun, free or very cheap and most of all mean we are doing things as a family. I have ideas for all seasons and some great ideas for her birthdays! 

One of my favorite ideas for her birthday is to fill her room with a bunch of balloons so that when she wakes up she wakes up to a new world in her bedroom and she can jump right into celebrating! Balloons are cheap, so this is a bread and water way to make memories! 

I like the winter activity of filling balloons (yes I love balloons) with water and food coloring. You freeze them and then cut away the balloon and you have giant marbles to play in the snow (or just the cold ground) with, and the best part-- no mess! They just eventually melt away. How much fun will this be, playing together, and beforehand choosing colors together. 

You can also make homemade (and non toxic for those little mouths that just have to taste it) play dough out of flour, water, salt and food coloring. Cheap, quick, and provides hours of fun. Of course we should be letting our kids help cook (with supervision of course), wash the dishes, and we should always be reading to them. 

So, no maybe I'll never be able to afford to give Punky jr (and any siblings she may have) a mansion full of goodies, but her daddy and I definitely have the budget to give her our love, wisdom, and attention and isn't that a better world to live in anyway!?!

Thoughts on Sin and Salvation

As a parent I am going to be asked the tough questions. Punky jr. is going to at some point want to know more about Scripture and why her daddy and I believe what we do. When that happens it is vitally important that we can give her a concise answer so that she understands and can see the truth of the Bible.

This means that I have to know how to explain what I believe about all sorts of things in the Bible. One such important topic that I've been wrestling with since freshman year of college has to do with sin and Christ's virgin birth. Why is it so important to stress that Christ was born or a virgin, and just how did He as a full human escape sin?

I am an academic-- I like to research and study theories and weigh things before I decide if they are true or not. That is just how I am. I need the facts, the research, the evidence. Luckily for me, God understands my need and is willing to provide it and He understands this desire within me.

The first question: Why is it so important to stress the virgin birth? Well, there are many answers for this. First of all, since Mary was a virgin there is no question that the only way Jesus could be born was if God was his Father. Mary was the mother and God was the Father. This points out Jesus' divinity. Jesus is God. That is important. Jesus isn't just another man, a really good man. Jesus is God.

The second question is just as important. In order for His sacrifice to be enough, Jesus had to be without sin. Yet the Bible states that "All have sinned" (Romans 3:23) and Jesus is human, so just how did He escape sin, if we all do it, we are all born sinners? There are a lot of different theories on this.

                   Theory 1: Our proclivity to sin comes from our fathers, therefore since God is perfect and God is the father of Jesus, Jesus didn't have the proclivity to sin. This makes sin a purely physical thing and it has little to do with the spiritual realm of our being.
                                    Question for this theory: If Jesus didn't even have the desire to sin, then was He REALLY tempted by satan-- it isn't much of a temptation unless it gets at your deep desires.
                   Theory 2: Our "Sin nature" that we inherited from Adam is just our desire to sin, and that desiring the sin is not sin itself till we actually commit the act. "Original sin" refers to the act in the Garden when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. (btw these 2 terms never appear in the Bible)
                                     Question for this theory: If we just inherited a desire to sin from Adam, then why was Jesus the only person to overcome it, couldn't more people over this desire?
                    Theory 3: Our sin comes to us spiritually. This is the exact opposite of the first theory, which stated that sin came through our DNA. In this theory when we travel back to the garden we see that while Adam and Eve were not created with a sin nature they still gave in.
                                   Question for this theory: if our sin nature is spiritual and not physical, why didn't Adam and Eve resist it, and thus protect all of us?

When it comes down to it the 3rd theory makes the most sense to me, while I can't explain everything "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law." (Deut. 29:29) I do think this seems the most logical, and I like logic.

We all die physically but our souls lives on-- therefore our real lives, our true selves is found in the soul, and that is where sin reigns. Yet Christ came, He was perfect and therefore the perfect sacrifice. Salvation is not physical (being saved doesn't mean we escape dying) it is spiritual. The physical had to be conquered so the spiritual could be saved. Sin and death came through Adam and Salvation and Life come through Christ.

As much as the academic in me yearns to totally understand everything, I know that until I meet HIM face to face I won't gain full understanding and the full ability to explain things. This too I will show my daughter. She needs to know that it is OK to not be able to fully explain something. I can't fully explain the Trinity, yet I belive that I serve just 1 god and that He is 3 distinct entitites. That doesn't dim my belief. It gives me something to look forward to. I am excited to get to Heaven and have an eternity with God learning to understand Him!

What questions about the Bible and God do you have?

-JLP-



 

Blessed Beyond Measure

My precious dalmatian and muse!

I am not the typical working mother. I don't get up in the morning, throw on a suit and walk out the door to my job. I work from home. I spend my days joyfully taking care of Punky jr and working on the computer. I also do not have the typical work from home job.  I'm not an accountant, a medical transcriptionist, web designer, or anything fancy. I'm an author. I spend my days telling stories.

Mostly Punky is the recipient of all my stories, whether she wants to be or not! She truly is a captive audience (she has started adding her 2 cents into the stories)! I love to sit with her and make up stories. I can't draw very well, or sing in a way that draws a crowd (in fact it drives away my husband), but I can spin words into a world of make believe that my daughter seems to enjoy.

Right now I am in the final stages of publishing my first book. This book is unlike any other thing I have done. Joyfully After All is the true story of my college experience (told through my journal pages). Most stories that I hope to publish are fiction--purely made up stuff, but this one, this debut book is the real McCoy. It is the story of how I was raised loving God, but then after being raped had to make my faith my own and live it out. A lot of the story shows how much I screwed up, but in the end it is a tale of redemption and God's grace and how everyone is invited into His family.

Being an author is fun-- I spend my days doing what I love best, playing with my daughter, taking care of the house and my husband (when he is home) and making up stuff that hopefully someone will buy and read. It is not the easiest way to support a family! You never know from month to month how many books will sell and how much you will contribute to the family bank account. You don't always have much advance warning when people want you to come speak, and how much you will make at those (I hate asking for a love offering or an engagement fee, but this is my business after all and I have to support my family).  Yet, it is what I have wanted to do.

Even in grad school I didn't really know what I wanted to focus on. My heart goes toward helping people find Christ. My degree is in Pastoral Counseling and my focus was on PTSD and for awhile I focused on working with the military, and then with fellow rape victims, but my heart has grown. I do sincerely want to help people with PTSD, especially military folk, but I also have a heart for the next generation and for women in general-- especially women that have been psychologically wounded in same way and are yearning for the comfort and peace that can ONLY be found in Christ Jesus.

So yes, I am a working mother. I may not have set hours, a "boss" that I answer to, or a guaranteed paycheck, but I do work and I work hard. I am just blessed beyond measure to get to spend my days doing what I honestly love to do-- telling stories and sharing Christ with my daughter and those of you that take the time to read this blog and my books.

-JLP-

I Can Do It!!!

For years now it has been popular for people to make up a "Bucket List", a list of things they hope to accomplish in this life. Ever since I was a kid I have had a list of sorts of things to do. I thought it would be fun though to write it out here and then record when I am able to cross things off my I Can Do It list. Being the OCD person that I am, I have organized my list into categories!

TRAVEL
1. Visit Ireland
2. Visit Australia
3. Go on a cruise
4. Visit all 50 states
5. Walk on the turf at Lambeau Field
6. Go on at least 5 mission trips
7. Take my family to the Holy Land
8. Take my family to Yellowstone Park
9. Take my family skiing at Bridger Bowl (MT)
10. Take my family to 5 Redskins' & 5 Packers' games

FAMILY
1. Get married
2. Have kid(s)
3. Adopt a dalmation
4. Adopt a cat
5. Home-school my child(ren)

SKILLS
1. Learn to dance the Polka
2. Sew a complete quilt
3. Earn a 200 average in bowling
4. Become fluent in Spanish
5. Become fluent in ASL
6. Become proficient in Biblical Greek
7. Memorize 500 Bible verses
8. Complete level 10 of Super Mario Bros.
9. Build a dog house
10. Keep my strawberry patch and porch flowers alive
11. Learn the butterfly (swim) stroke
12. Improve skills on piano so I can play at church
13. Improve skills on the violin
14. Become a better poet


EDUCATION
1. Earn my BS
2. Earn my MS
3. Earn my PhD
4. Teach children to "pray in color"
5. Help my husband graduate from college
6. Study art history

WORK
1. Become a published author
2. Run a (successful) non-profit business as a speaker & counselor for families in crisis
3. Manage the family finances
4. Write & publish my Grandma's life story
5. Write & publish a fictional series

LEISURE
1. Read at least 100 books/year
2. Own all the Shirley Temple movies
3. Keep the family photo album up to date
4. Camp under the stars with my husband
5. Own a hammock- keep it up during the summer and use it with my family


MISCELLANEOUS
1. Help build my sunroom/library/office (all one space)
2. Own a home with a spiral staircase
3. Own a reclining sectional sofa
4. Ride a roller-coaster (I'm phobic and want to beat my phobia)
5. Own a trampoline

Well, there you have it, my list! The few that I've crossed out are already accomplished. I can't wait to re-visit this list someday and see what else I can cross off my list! God put us here on earth to bring glory to Him, but He also wants us to enjoy this incredible life He has given us, and in order to do that we need to get off our sofas and go out and LIVE, be adventurous, try new things, go to new places, explore, do, and accomplish! While I'm working my way through my list, I hope y'all are doing the same with your I Can Do It lists!

Happy accomplishing!

-JLP-

Daughter- You are Loved

As a teenager I remember praying that someday God would give me a husband to love and who loves me back. I also prayed for children to call my own. I prayed to be able to go to college to earn a degree to help support the family that I yearned for.

On a momentous day in early May I earned by high school diploma and that Fall I was headed for college, God's plan for my life and His answers to my childhood prayers were beginning to be answered. Less than 1 year later it looked it was all going to end. Gigantic evil came into my life, but so did the hope of new life, in the form of a little baby growing inside me- that is your angel sibling.

1 year after I graduated from high school, my angel baby conceived in evil, but loved unconditionally, was whisked away to Heaven, to bypass this life. When angel baby died I tried to as well, but God was not finished with me yet, I still had a full life to live, and His will to accomplish.

4 years after I graduated from high school I graduated from college, yearning even more for a husband and a family of my own, for people to nurture and love unconditionally. God said "wait my child"

So I waited. I waited and I worked. I put my degree to use, and every night I prayed "Dear Lord I'm ready, please send me a husband and send us children to love, to fill our home with laughter and joy." And still God said "Not yet" It wasn't time yet, Mommy and Daddy were not ready for you.

As I grew and started to learn about patience and God's timing, all the way across the country God was working in the life of a country boy--- wild, following his own rules, but still under the control of the Father. This boy needed to grow up. So, even though I didn't know who I was waiting for, I waited. Yes, I thought I found him once or twice, but God kept saying "Not him, wait, I'll show you the one for you. Wait my daughter."

So, I waited and I prayed, and my arms yearned to hold MY child. I loved my nephew, the kids at church, special friends, but still while my arms were full, my family was not complete.

Then, one day God began to nudge me "Get up and move, the plan I have for you is not here, it is there, in the land of your ancestors." So, with much excitement, fear and anticipation I packed up, moved and started graduate school 2000 miles from Wyoming, in Virginia.

I met a plethora of godly men but still God kept saying "Not him, not him, and not even him. The man I have for you is not here." I was lonely and yearning like never before for my family to begin. I felt like I was in a holding pattern, I was ready to be a wife, to love, serve, and cherish someone, to find that best friend, that boon companion to spend my life with, to grow in grace with, to have a family with. But where was he?

Finally, God said "Here try this, he is there. Trust me, I'll show you who." And that is when I met my husband. The graduate student from Wyoming and the work hard with his hands country boy from Virginia. Not the most likely pairing, but a God pairing. The girl that in many ways felt older than her years, and the boy that took his time growing up, but it didn't take long to know that this was God's match.

An early December day, with snow just beginning to fall marked our wedding day. My dream, my prayers were answered! At the perfect age of 27 I was the bride walking down the aisle, saying my vows, kissing my husband! I was the new wife cutting my cake and escaping off on my honeymoon!

Being married was an answer to prayer, it has been wonderful. I have found my boon companion, my lover, my best friend, someone that I can be totally me with, someone that has my back and that no matter what, loves me.

It wasn't too many months later when much to our surprise the next stage in our family came to be. I was pregnant!!!  It happened quickly, but the blessing was enormous. A husband and now a child. The next months seemed to drag on, so ready was I to hold my child in my arms. We quietly celebrated our first anniversary, our 2nd  Christmas together, and then we went to the hospital.

And, the day I had prayed for for most of my life was finally here, I was holding my daughter (YOU) in my arms and sitting next to my husband! I had my family. I remember holding you and thinking "Lord thank you. It took awhile but look--- You answer prayers. I trusted you, I waited on your timing and now I have this precious daughter as proof that your timing is best."

So my little snowflake, never doubt that you are loved. Never doubt that you are wanted. Not only do Mommy and Daddy love you unconditionally but God has been planning for your birth and your life for so long. He loves you even more than we do. He is already working on what He has in mind for your life. So, wait for Him, trust Him and while you wait your Mommy and Daddy will be beside you, guiding you, loving you and supporting you as you grow into God's woman. You are loved so very much. 

Use Your Past, Don't Dwell in It

Not too long ago I was chatting with someone about my upcoming book and plans to travel and talk at churces/schools/colleges/conferences (I'm great, if you need a speaker, think of me! lol) and she made the comment "It seems like you are dwelling in your past when you should just move on."  I disagree.

To dwell means to live or continue in a given condition or state.  I am not living in my past, I'm trying to use it for the glory of God. Yes, that means I frequently have to visit it. I have to dredge up the memories of the most horrific time of my life, but I talk about it, I describe what happened, I don't linger in the drudgery. Where I am dwelling is in the peace of overcoming, of being able to use it. I linger in the joy that yes I was there, but it is no longer my home.

I love the Lord and I am so thankful for all that He has done for me. I am thankful that He was with me even when I didn't recognize Him. I am thankful that He protected me from the evil men, and from myself. I am even thankful (when I am not be selfish) that He saved my Angel from having to experience this world. Angel is right now up there playing on the heavenly swingsets and waiting for us all to be reunited someday. I am thankful that my journey, the good and the bad has lead me to where I am now, and that can only be a God thing.

Right now I have a husband that I adore, and I know he loves me right back. I have a 7 month daughter, and even at 330am sitting on the couch feeding her I am filled with an amazing love (exhaustion too) for how precious she is, and the joy she brings. I have parents that love and sacrifice for my family. I have a sister that is the most understanding, best friend a girl could have. I have in laws that have welcomed me into their family and love me. I have friends that make each day interesting, that support me, and that remind me of the beauty of this world.

I'm dwelling in a pretty good place right now. Yes, there are struggles, mighty ones, but overall by USING my past to show others that no matter what we experience we don't have to dwell in pain. The grace and peace of God, the promise of an eternity too good to even fathom is ours. All we have to do is say "Yes Lord I'm a sinner and need you. It is your work dying on the cross and coming back that allows me to have access to all that you promise."

If you ask my friends, yes I do talk about my struggles, but that I don't dwell there. I'd rather talk about chocolate, my daughter, board games, gardening and just how precious the gifts of Christ are. I use my past, sure, but I don't dwell in it. I dwell in the shelter of the Almighty who is mighty to save, generous in His comfort, and lavish in His peace.

-JLP-

I Have a Dream!

Martin Luther King is not the only to ever have a dream, I do too! I have a dream that someday I'll find a church that focuses less on which version of the Bible I read, and more on loving the world.

I have a dream that someday I'll find a church where all people are accepted and loved. I have a dream that someday I'll find a church that focuses on loving the individual first, and offering gentle correction second. Yes, part of our job is to help our brothers and sisters grow, move away from their struggles and into my obedience with Christ. A bigger part is to love each other. The Holy Spirit will do the chastising, but we are called to love.

Think of Jesus. A mob found a woman in the act of committing adultery and brought her to Jesus, expecting him to publicly chastise her, but that isn't how Jesus responded. Jesus chastised the crowd!  Then, when they had some privacy he looks to her with LOVE and then says "Go, and sin no more" Love first, lesson second.  

Many churches today are focused on "Don't do this" or "That's EVIL, how dare you DO that and call yourself a believer!" That is not loving!  Yes, there are absolutes, things that are right and wrong. Too often though we take the sin and in our fear of the sin we make everything around it evil.  The Bible clearly states "Do not get drunk on wine" and all of a sudden drinking is a sin. NO- drunkenness is the sin. If drinking was a sin the Bible would say "Do not drink wine" but it doesn't.

Sex outside of marriage is a sin, and therefore we've made sex INSIDE the confines of marriage seem dirty too. It isn't! Sex is a God prescribed act, not only for procreation but to also draw the spouses together. Sex should be fun, crazy, creative, intimate, etc. Yet, it is seen as dirty because when used wrong it is a sin.

I also think of single parents that I know. A lot of them are not single by choice, yet when they show up alone to church, or with their kids and no spouse the church judges. Maybe not out loud, or to their face, but the church judges "Look here comes Sally Mae, did you know that she doesn't have a husband! I just bet I know why!" or "Look at Billy Bob with his two kids, I bet his wife left him because he can't keep his pants zipped." We think those thoughts (or similar ones) and we don't bother to get to know the person. It could be that divorce happened, but it could be that Sally Mae lost her husband in Afghanistan or due to an illness, or maybe he was abusing her and the kids and she got out.

One of my heartbeat issues is abortion. I abhor that it is legal and a daily practice. Yet, as much as I shout my hatred for the ACT, I still love the woman. I know that there are many circumstances where you find yourself between a rock and a hard place and in a time of GREAT emotional upheaval, fear, coercion, etc, you go to the clinic. That isn't going to change my love and respect for you as a person, as a child of our Creator. You need to go and sin no more.

Am I the perfect Christian? GOSH NO! I live with myself and I know that I am an utter failure and totally in need of God's grace and forgiveness, on a daily basis. I screw up and sin all the time. I fail in my quest to perfectly serve my Lord. Yet, that doesn't stop me from trying, from dreaming, from looking and saying THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE! It needs to change in my life and in the church as a whole.

I want to be better, to better reflect Christ, to better serve those that I love and have a heart for. I want to see the church, which I love do a better job. I really want Christ to come back so we can end our struggles and just focus on bowing down and serving our Savior, King, Bridegroom.

Till that, I will shout what I believe, I will continue to dream that we can all grow and learn to focus on what really matters to our Savior, and I will continue to seek His heart & life, so that my heart can reflect His. I will continue to teach my daughter to grow up serving the Lord, and enjoying the Lord.

-JLP-
And with that, I quietly step off my Soapbox! ;-) 

Tick Tock

In 7 days my little Punky Jr. will be 7 months old! I can hardly believe how fast 2012 is going. It really is true that time seems to speed up when you become a parent. There is so much to enjoy, so many little "firsts" that happen in the first couple of years that it makes time seem to whiz by. There is so much love in our house right now and it is amazing.

We are also on the final stretch of a home remodel, and I am going to do a major happy dance when it is all finished! My hubby has been doing an amazing job, but I know that he is going to celebrate as well when it is all finished and he can relax a bit.

In the midst of everything Punky Jr. continues to grow and the milestones continue to happen. She rolls over quite a bit now (95% of the time she waits till no one is looking though), she can sit up (in the tripod position) and is getting stronger at sitting straight up. Her legs are quite strong and we think in just a few months she will be walking. She isn't much of a crawler, because she isn't a fan of being on her tummy, but that is ok. She loves to eat and so far she eats just about everything we let her try! I love how adventurous she is with food at this stage.

To top it off, her love is evident in her smiles, giggles and all the cuddles she freely gives out everyday, to anyone. I am savoring these moments because I know that much too soon she will be older and not want to cuddle all the time, and someday (FAR FAR) in the future she will have a family of her own and won't even be around to cuddle.

For now I am enjoying having a sweet, funny, giggly, cuddly, oh so smart little Snowflake in my house. I may not get the house as clean as I'd like as quickly as I'd like, but the house and the dust bunnies are not going anywhere, and my little Snowflake, miss Punky jr. is growing up and this mommy cherishes cuddles and giggles more than a dust free mantle or shiny bath tub faucet.

-JLP-

Take time to just BE with your family, to enjoy the love and camaraderie of togetherness. Too many things draw us away from each other, so make today (or as soon as y'all are together) a family day.

Rest In Peace Jazmine

Mommy & Daddy with Jazmine

Before lunch today my husband and I had to make one of life's tough decisions. Our pug, a sweet, crazy, little runt that my beloved has had since she was a puppy, was very sick, in a lot of pain and so we had her put down. It was heart wrenching for both us.  Digging the grave, putting her in it, covering it up, and putting the headstone in the ground, not easy.

One of the bright spots throughout the gloomy day (and yes it was a stormy day today) was our daughter. At almost 7 months old she doesn't understand the finality of what happened today, she won't even have any of her own memories of Jazmine. Today was just another day, and a special one because Daddy was home all day on a weekday.

Tonight as I was putting Punky Jr. to bed I started crying again, because I know that Jazmine isn't in the office playing with daddy as he winds down. I know she isn't following me around as I do our bedtime routine. Her body is buried on the corner of our property. She isn't with us anymore, she DIED. It was as I was thinking those gloomy thoughts and how much I hate death that some truths came to mind.

I don't just hate that our dog died, I hate that dear friends and family members have died. I hate the finality of death. For Christians death is a home coming, when we die we enter Heaven, a glorious, eternal home. Yet, we leave behind so many people that love us, people that will miss us and mourn. Death is final, you don't come back.

My thoughts drifted toward God and how much God must hate death. God is eternal, God created us in His image as eternal beings. Death is not in the original plan. Death is awful, and God hates it. God hates that when a person dies if they have not accepted His gift of salvation through Christ, they go to Hell-- a real and eternally horrid place. God hates death. Yet, being a just God, a perfect God He has to punish sin.

Since God hates death and doesn't want to see anyone wind up in Hell God decided to do something about it. God came down to earth in the form of Jesus, lived among us, experienced what humans experience (except for sin. Jesus never sinned) and DIED a gruesome death, a humiliating, beyond painful death. Then Jesus came out of that tomb fully alive to show that even something as final and powerful as death has no power over Him!

That is how much God hates death. He hates it so much that even though we all have to experience it, He made way for even death to be a good thing--- it is our vehicle to Heaven. We just have to agree that death sucks and say "Thank you Jesus for defeating death, for taking my sin and making it your own, so that when I have to die I get to be with you forever." That is how we take our death and make it wonderful.

Yes, saying good-bye is NEVER going to be easy, it means that person (or animal) is no longer around to talk with, play with, experience with. Death sucks for those of us left behind. We have a void that was not designed to exist. We have to go on, to continue to say "Even so Lord I trust in You, You are my comfort". The more we loved the person the harder that is to do, but if we focus not on our pain but on their reward that suckiness becomes a little less and if we trust Christ, eventually the wound begins to heal. The scar is always there because death is unnatural and it wounds-- Christ will always bear the wounds of His death.  Yet, each day we go on we get a little bit better, we learn to feel the comfort Christ offers, we find ways to fill the void, and we focus on earning our rewards when it is our turn to die.

So, Jazmine I'm sorry that you were sick. I'm sorry that you had go. Mommy and Daddy love you so much, you were such a sweet, crazy, sometimes aggravating (you never did totally learn that your bathroom was outside), but always loved. You brought so much joy to our home and we will always have wonderful memories. Now, go and run, enjoy no longer being in pain, meet all your new playmates and don't forget us! We love you!!!

-Jessie-

Making A Mess

I so wish that I had a picture of tonight's digging activity with Punky Jr. I thought it would be fun (and educational) for her to do some digging. Well, it was raining and dark outside so we were inside. I poured some oatmeal in a tupperware container and put a few toys in there for her to find.

The toys were different sizes and the oatmeal was a texture that she hadn't played with before. She giggled as she dug around and she flung the oatmeal all over her play mat. It was a lot of fun to play with her and watch her exploring and learning. I love how everything is exciting and fun at her age. It brings joy to this mom to watch my daughter play and learn.

Afterward I had to do some sweeping, but it was worth it to have a fun half an hour with my daughter. I've poured the oatmeal into a ziplock bag so we can play with again! It was a cheap and fun way to get some learning into our rainy evening.

-JLP-

6 Months... ALREADY!

Celebrating the USA

6 months ago Punky jr. and I were released from the hospital and my little 5 day old baby girl would finally get to see her home, and I would get off the yucky hospital bed and into my own comfy bed. It was an exciting and scary day. It was exciting because it was the beginning of a new chapter, and scary because it was the beginning of a new chapter!

I have been around babies and children my whole life and I just love them. It is totally different when it is your own child though! Every cough is not just a little cough, it is something to worry about. Every smile is more special, and while the diapers still stink, you don't change them because it is a chore, but because you want your little angel to be clean and comfortable, so the task isn't quite so hard (but they still stink). It is scary to think that your child is totally dependent upon you.

So far she is 6 months (and 5 days) old and she is doing well. She smiles A LOT, giggles A LOT, and has always slept through the night. She is the best sleeper in the house. She has rolled over a few times, but isn't really a roller. While she is starting to tolerate tummy time, she isn't crawling yet, and might not do much crawling. She loves to be on her feet and dancing. Singing and dancing are two of her favorite activities, and in order to have the energy she eats A LOT. I am happy to report that most things she eats she loves. She is not picky!

These last 6 months have been hard and wonderful. A lot has happened outside of our role as parents and that has been really rough. We have had a full 6 months, full of life, death, stress, challenges, fear, forgiveness and growth, but then we look at Punky jr and we remember that we are so blessed to have her in our lives. She really does brighten our days (and empty our wallets--it begins from day 1 of conception)! I know most parents say this but it is true--- time really does speed up, these have been the fastest 6 months of my life (which is ok since the 6 months prior were some of the slowest waiting to hold her in my arms).

We will continue to revel in our job of being new parents and we will not worry that we are typical new parents, taking 1000's of photos (that is mostly me) and a few videos! If you don't want to look, you don't have to! We will continue to fret over the little things (and the big ones). Mostly, we will continue to love the little blessing and take joy in watching her grow, develop and become the woman God has designed her to be. It happens fast, but it is a great journey.

-JLP-

May y'all have a blessed week!