Growing up I spent a lot of time babysitting. I have always loved being around kids. Kids are such a joy to life. So I thought that I was 100% prepared to be a mother. I am an expert at changing diapers, making bottles and playing with little kids. I love to read to kids, cuddle babies and play. So, I'm going to be pretty good at this mothering thing, right!?!
Famous last words! I am good at changing Punky's diaper and feeding her. She and I play a lot and we have fun and she is happy and healthy, so in the grand scheme of things everything is going really well. Most of all she knows that she is very very loved and that is what is most important.
The part that has thrown me for a loop though is her development. Being around all sorts of babies in my life I know that every child develops at their own rate. Some have teeth by 5 months, some by 13. Some babies crawl early and a lot, some babies for a day or two and by 10 months they are off and walking all around the house. Each baby has her own schedule for when she is going to accomplish something new.
I was not ready to worry about Punky and stress that she isn't doing everything as quickly as her friends! As a counselor and someone that has studied and understands child development I know that she is just fine. Yet as a mother I want my baby to be able to do what she seems to want to do, but hasn't figured out! The mother in me worries for her! I was not prepared for that feeling!!!
I thought I knew all about what I was going to feel and how this parenting thing would go! Alas, babysitting and being a nanny is not the same as being a mother! Being a mother just means that you worry. I want the best for her. I am learning though that she is just fine, when she is good and ready she will buckle down and figure things out, and till that day we are going to relax and enjoy the stage that we are in and soak up all the cuddles before she is off to the races!
-JLP-
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