The Embrace of Christ

This morning I was sitting in bed feeding E (my new daughter) and my mind traveled back 10 years to May of 2002 and saying good-bye to the child I conceived (during my rape) and then miscarried.  I wondered if my child was a boy or a girl and what his/her personality was like.  I wondered what physical traits my two children shared.

I then started to sing "Jesus Loves You" to little E and I realized that child 1 didn't need mom to sing that song, because child 1 was up in the arms of Christ right now.  My child was playing in Heaven, worshiping Christ and is waiting for mom to get up there and for our family to be together.  It was a sweet moment.  Not sad at all, but happy.  Happy because I know my oldest child got to escape the pain of this world and go straight to be in Christ's arms.  It was also happy because in my arms was a sweet little girl that Christ had gifted me with.

I pray that my husband and I will show E what it means to have Christ as our savior. I pray that she will grow up to love the Lord.  I pray that she will be: sweet, loving, kind, forgiving, patient, smart and strong.  I pray that as she faces the joys and trials of life that she will do so with a sweet spirit, much like that of her great-great grandma (for whom she was named).  Mainly I pray for the day when my whole family is reunited in Heaven where we will rest forever in the embrace of Christ.

I also prayed for those I know that are yearning for the blessing of a child in their home. One of the hardest things in this life is to want something, to see all your friends be given the blessing you've been yearning for, and to remain without. I prayed for those I know that have experienced the pain of miscarriage and/or stillbirth.  I prayed that no matter what happens, that we would all remember that we rest in the embrace of Christ and that when we look back on this life we will see why He gave us what He did and why He withheld what He did.