How I Met Your Father

In 1979 a young boy was born. He had an older brother. As a child his parents would divorce and with the ensuing remarriage of his marriage this young boy gained an older step-sister and younger step brother. The home was full of noise, mess and love.

Yet, not all was idyllic for this blended family. The boy needed the attention and approval of his biological father. As he grew up he was not a docile child and he made his parents age before their time. He was an athlete, a slob and had not a very good hold on his temper.

As a young adult he worked a few odd jobs and moved in his older brother and sister in law. Eventually he would come to work with his brother as a carpenter, but he was far from grown up. He liked women and wanted the experiences of as many as possible. He wanted to experience as much of the world as he could, while living in his little corner of it. His was a wild life.

In 1983 a young girl was born. She had an older sister. She was raised in the church and her parents ran a Christian high school. She was a book worm, athlete and had trouble with classmates- just could not seem to make all the kids happy and was on the bad end of bullying. Her home was full of activities, clutter and love.

Not all was idyllic for her either. Yes, her parents had a rock solid relationship, but she struggled to gain their attention, to live up to the standards her older sister set. In her mind she was competing with the girl that came first, and it was an un-winable race.

As a young adult she left home and attended college in the big city. She wanted to experience as much of the world as possible, so she went out to get it. Unfortunately for her experiencing the world is not always safe and she found that out in a very real way. Two men raped her early one morning.

This girl that was taught to love the Lord and trust Him in everything had her foundation shaken and spiraled into a few years of despair and questioning, searching to find the truth to life when it turns out that the world isn't what you expected.  Eventually she found her way back to the Lord and dedicated her life to helping other women and trying to save them some of the anguish that she experienced.

As the girl was training for her life as a counselor, the young man was growing up too. He was learning what maturity meant, what it means to be accountable, and what life is really all about. Along came a movie "Fireproof" and that wild boy who lived for women and fun times saw that there is more than just parties. There is love, commitment and shared experiences, there is the Lord. That began his real journey of faith.

The girl was in grad school working on her degree, preparing to return to her home state across the country, ready to settle down and start her own family, hoping her kids could go to her old elementary school one day.  Then, on a whim she signed up for an online dating service, just to see who was out there.

He caught her eye, tall, redhead and cute. They started talking but it was an  unlikely match. The former wild child, and the formerly broken girl. Yet, it was a match made in Heaven by the Father. They started dating, and then on a hot summer day, overlooking a beautiful valley he proposed and she said "Yes".

This is no fairy tale, so it doesn't end here with "happily ever after". Our story continues. We got married, and right after our first anniversary we welcomed our daughter into our family. Two very different people, made one marriage and that marriage grew to become a family of 3. We have our ups and downs because we are different, our backgrounds are different, and we think differently. Yet, we are bound together by love and commitment. Not only for each other, but for the Lord and for our family.

We will weather each storm, even the ones that by all logic should tear us apart, because we are not held together by logic but by love and love overcomes all-- the Love of God overcame our sin, it can surely overcome the struggles of life.

So, Punky that is how I met your father.

-Mommy-

Giving Her the World

There is something that all parents deal with. We love our children and we want to give them everything, only since most of us are not related to Oprah, Bill Gates and Donald Trump giving our children everything is not in the confines of the family budget. 

Following a family budget is important. Yes, we all may stumble and have to borrow from Peter to pay Paul once in awhile, but not only is it good to stay out of debt, but it is teaching our children valuable life lessons as well. As much as we may want to give our children everything-- what they really need is not a playroom full of stuff but a playroom full of memories. It is the time we spend investing in our kids that they will remember. The fancy toys and games are great, but if you can't afford them they are not worth the price. 

One of my favorite memories as a kid comes from Saturday mornings. Dad would take us with him to work (he was an assistant superintendent of a school) and while he was getting things done us kids would run upstairs (the upstairs had 1 long hallway) go up the ramp to one of the classrooms, get the chairs with wheels and race down the hallway. Dad would come up and join us sometimes, or when his work was done we would all go play in the school's gym. Those days are never to be forgotten and they didn't cost my parents a penny! Yes, I appreciate all that they did spend on us (especially my education) but it isn't about the money it is about knowing that they loved us and loved being with us. 

I want my little snowflake to have the same sorts of memories. I want her to remember the trips, the crazy things we did as a family, the time we invested in her. In my eagerness to give her such memories I have found Pintrest to be a wonderful wealth of ideas. I can log on and found lots of ideas of things to do with her that are fun, free or very cheap and most of all mean we are doing things as a family. I have ideas for all seasons and some great ideas for her birthdays! 

One of my favorite ideas for her birthday is to fill her room with a bunch of balloons so that when she wakes up she wakes up to a new world in her bedroom and she can jump right into celebrating! Balloons are cheap, so this is a bread and water way to make memories! 

I like the winter activity of filling balloons (yes I love balloons) with water and food coloring. You freeze them and then cut away the balloon and you have giant marbles to play in the snow (or just the cold ground) with, and the best part-- no mess! They just eventually melt away. How much fun will this be, playing together, and beforehand choosing colors together. 

You can also make homemade (and non toxic for those little mouths that just have to taste it) play dough out of flour, water, salt and food coloring. Cheap, quick, and provides hours of fun. Of course we should be letting our kids help cook (with supervision of course), wash the dishes, and we should always be reading to them. 

So, no maybe I'll never be able to afford to give Punky jr (and any siblings she may have) a mansion full of goodies, but her daddy and I definitely have the budget to give her our love, wisdom, and attention and isn't that a better world to live in anyway!?!

Thoughts on Sin and Salvation

As a parent I am going to be asked the tough questions. Punky jr. is going to at some point want to know more about Scripture and why her daddy and I believe what we do. When that happens it is vitally important that we can give her a concise answer so that she understands and can see the truth of the Bible.

This means that I have to know how to explain what I believe about all sorts of things in the Bible. One such important topic that I've been wrestling with since freshman year of college has to do with sin and Christ's virgin birth. Why is it so important to stress that Christ was born or a virgin, and just how did He as a full human escape sin?

I am an academic-- I like to research and study theories and weigh things before I decide if they are true or not. That is just how I am. I need the facts, the research, the evidence. Luckily for me, God understands my need and is willing to provide it and He understands this desire within me.

The first question: Why is it so important to stress the virgin birth? Well, there are many answers for this. First of all, since Mary was a virgin there is no question that the only way Jesus could be born was if God was his Father. Mary was the mother and God was the Father. This points out Jesus' divinity. Jesus is God. That is important. Jesus isn't just another man, a really good man. Jesus is God.

The second question is just as important. In order for His sacrifice to be enough, Jesus had to be without sin. Yet the Bible states that "All have sinned" (Romans 3:23) and Jesus is human, so just how did He escape sin, if we all do it, we are all born sinners? There are a lot of different theories on this.

                   Theory 1: Our proclivity to sin comes from our fathers, therefore since God is perfect and God is the father of Jesus, Jesus didn't have the proclivity to sin. This makes sin a purely physical thing and it has little to do with the spiritual realm of our being.
                                    Question for this theory: If Jesus didn't even have the desire to sin, then was He REALLY tempted by satan-- it isn't much of a temptation unless it gets at your deep desires.
                   Theory 2: Our "Sin nature" that we inherited from Adam is just our desire to sin, and that desiring the sin is not sin itself till we actually commit the act. "Original sin" refers to the act in the Garden when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. (btw these 2 terms never appear in the Bible)
                                     Question for this theory: If we just inherited a desire to sin from Adam, then why was Jesus the only person to overcome it, couldn't more people over this desire?
                    Theory 3: Our sin comes to us spiritually. This is the exact opposite of the first theory, which stated that sin came through our DNA. In this theory when we travel back to the garden we see that while Adam and Eve were not created with a sin nature they still gave in.
                                   Question for this theory: if our sin nature is spiritual and not physical, why didn't Adam and Eve resist it, and thus protect all of us?

When it comes down to it the 3rd theory makes the most sense to me, while I can't explain everything "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law." (Deut. 29:29) I do think this seems the most logical, and I like logic.

We all die physically but our souls lives on-- therefore our real lives, our true selves is found in the soul, and that is where sin reigns. Yet Christ came, He was perfect and therefore the perfect sacrifice. Salvation is not physical (being saved doesn't mean we escape dying) it is spiritual. The physical had to be conquered so the spiritual could be saved. Sin and death came through Adam and Salvation and Life come through Christ.

As much as the academic in me yearns to totally understand everything, I know that until I meet HIM face to face I won't gain full understanding and the full ability to explain things. This too I will show my daughter. She needs to know that it is OK to not be able to fully explain something. I can't fully explain the Trinity, yet I belive that I serve just 1 god and that He is 3 distinct entitites. That doesn't dim my belief. It gives me something to look forward to. I am excited to get to Heaven and have an eternity with God learning to understand Him!

What questions about the Bible and God do you have?

-JLP-



 

Blessed Beyond Measure

My precious dalmatian and muse!

I am not the typical working mother. I don't get up in the morning, throw on a suit and walk out the door to my job. I work from home. I spend my days joyfully taking care of Punky jr and working on the computer. I also do not have the typical work from home job.  I'm not an accountant, a medical transcriptionist, web designer, or anything fancy. I'm an author. I spend my days telling stories.

Mostly Punky is the recipient of all my stories, whether she wants to be or not! She truly is a captive audience (she has started adding her 2 cents into the stories)! I love to sit with her and make up stories. I can't draw very well, or sing in a way that draws a crowd (in fact it drives away my husband), but I can spin words into a world of make believe that my daughter seems to enjoy.

Right now I am in the final stages of publishing my first book. This book is unlike any other thing I have done. Joyfully After All is the true story of my college experience (told through my journal pages). Most stories that I hope to publish are fiction--purely made up stuff, but this one, this debut book is the real McCoy. It is the story of how I was raised loving God, but then after being raped had to make my faith my own and live it out. A lot of the story shows how much I screwed up, but in the end it is a tale of redemption and God's grace and how everyone is invited into His family.

Being an author is fun-- I spend my days doing what I love best, playing with my daughter, taking care of the house and my husband (when he is home) and making up stuff that hopefully someone will buy and read. It is not the easiest way to support a family! You never know from month to month how many books will sell and how much you will contribute to the family bank account. You don't always have much advance warning when people want you to come speak, and how much you will make at those (I hate asking for a love offering or an engagement fee, but this is my business after all and I have to support my family).  Yet, it is what I have wanted to do.

Even in grad school I didn't really know what I wanted to focus on. My heart goes toward helping people find Christ. My degree is in Pastoral Counseling and my focus was on PTSD and for awhile I focused on working with the military, and then with fellow rape victims, but my heart has grown. I do sincerely want to help people with PTSD, especially military folk, but I also have a heart for the next generation and for women in general-- especially women that have been psychologically wounded in same way and are yearning for the comfort and peace that can ONLY be found in Christ Jesus.

So yes, I am a working mother. I may not have set hours, a "boss" that I answer to, or a guaranteed paycheck, but I do work and I work hard. I am just blessed beyond measure to get to spend my days doing what I honestly love to do-- telling stories and sharing Christ with my daughter and those of you that take the time to read this blog and my books.

-JLP-

I Can Do It!!!

For years now it has been popular for people to make up a "Bucket List", a list of things they hope to accomplish in this life. Ever since I was a kid I have had a list of sorts of things to do. I thought it would be fun though to write it out here and then record when I am able to cross things off my I Can Do It list. Being the OCD person that I am, I have organized my list into categories!

TRAVEL
1. Visit Ireland
2. Visit Australia
3. Go on a cruise
4. Visit all 50 states
5. Walk on the turf at Lambeau Field
6. Go on at least 5 mission trips
7. Take my family to the Holy Land
8. Take my family to Yellowstone Park
9. Take my family skiing at Bridger Bowl (MT)
10. Take my family to 5 Redskins' & 5 Packers' games

FAMILY
1. Get married
2. Have kid(s)
3. Adopt a dalmation
4. Adopt a cat
5. Home-school my child(ren)

SKILLS
1. Learn to dance the Polka
2. Sew a complete quilt
3. Earn a 200 average in bowling
4. Become fluent in Spanish
5. Become fluent in ASL
6. Become proficient in Biblical Greek
7. Memorize 500 Bible verses
8. Complete level 10 of Super Mario Bros.
9. Build a dog house
10. Keep my strawberry patch and porch flowers alive
11. Learn the butterfly (swim) stroke
12. Improve skills on piano so I can play at church
13. Improve skills on the violin
14. Become a better poet


EDUCATION
1. Earn my BS
2. Earn my MS
3. Earn my PhD
4. Teach children to "pray in color"
5. Help my husband graduate from college
6. Study art history

WORK
1. Become a published author
2. Run a (successful) non-profit business as a speaker & counselor for families in crisis
3. Manage the family finances
4. Write & publish my Grandma's life story
5. Write & publish a fictional series

LEISURE
1. Read at least 100 books/year
2. Own all the Shirley Temple movies
3. Keep the family photo album up to date
4. Camp under the stars with my husband
5. Own a hammock- keep it up during the summer and use it with my family


MISCELLANEOUS
1. Help build my sunroom/library/office (all one space)
2. Own a home with a spiral staircase
3. Own a reclining sectional sofa
4. Ride a roller-coaster (I'm phobic and want to beat my phobia)
5. Own a trampoline

Well, there you have it, my list! The few that I've crossed out are already accomplished. I can't wait to re-visit this list someday and see what else I can cross off my list! God put us here on earth to bring glory to Him, but He also wants us to enjoy this incredible life He has given us, and in order to do that we need to get off our sofas and go out and LIVE, be adventurous, try new things, go to new places, explore, do, and accomplish! While I'm working my way through my list, I hope y'all are doing the same with your I Can Do It lists!

Happy accomplishing!

-JLP-

Daughter- You are Loved

As a teenager I remember praying that someday God would give me a husband to love and who loves me back. I also prayed for children to call my own. I prayed to be able to go to college to earn a degree to help support the family that I yearned for.

On a momentous day in early May I earned by high school diploma and that Fall I was headed for college, God's plan for my life and His answers to my childhood prayers were beginning to be answered. Less than 1 year later it looked it was all going to end. Gigantic evil came into my life, but so did the hope of new life, in the form of a little baby growing inside me- that is your angel sibling.

1 year after I graduated from high school, my angel baby conceived in evil, but loved unconditionally, was whisked away to Heaven, to bypass this life. When angel baby died I tried to as well, but God was not finished with me yet, I still had a full life to live, and His will to accomplish.

4 years after I graduated from high school I graduated from college, yearning even more for a husband and a family of my own, for people to nurture and love unconditionally. God said "wait my child"

So I waited. I waited and I worked. I put my degree to use, and every night I prayed "Dear Lord I'm ready, please send me a husband and send us children to love, to fill our home with laughter and joy." And still God said "Not yet" It wasn't time yet, Mommy and Daddy were not ready for you.

As I grew and started to learn about patience and God's timing, all the way across the country God was working in the life of a country boy--- wild, following his own rules, but still under the control of the Father. This boy needed to grow up. So, even though I didn't know who I was waiting for, I waited. Yes, I thought I found him once or twice, but God kept saying "Not him, wait, I'll show you the one for you. Wait my daughter."

So, I waited and I prayed, and my arms yearned to hold MY child. I loved my nephew, the kids at church, special friends, but still while my arms were full, my family was not complete.

Then, one day God began to nudge me "Get up and move, the plan I have for you is not here, it is there, in the land of your ancestors." So, with much excitement, fear and anticipation I packed up, moved and started graduate school 2000 miles from Wyoming, in Virginia.

I met a plethora of godly men but still God kept saying "Not him, not him, and not even him. The man I have for you is not here." I was lonely and yearning like never before for my family to begin. I felt like I was in a holding pattern, I was ready to be a wife, to love, serve, and cherish someone, to find that best friend, that boon companion to spend my life with, to grow in grace with, to have a family with. But where was he?

Finally, God said "Here try this, he is there. Trust me, I'll show you who." And that is when I met my husband. The graduate student from Wyoming and the work hard with his hands country boy from Virginia. Not the most likely pairing, but a God pairing. The girl that in many ways felt older than her years, and the boy that took his time growing up, but it didn't take long to know that this was God's match.

An early December day, with snow just beginning to fall marked our wedding day. My dream, my prayers were answered! At the perfect age of 27 I was the bride walking down the aisle, saying my vows, kissing my husband! I was the new wife cutting my cake and escaping off on my honeymoon!

Being married was an answer to prayer, it has been wonderful. I have found my boon companion, my lover, my best friend, someone that I can be totally me with, someone that has my back and that no matter what, loves me.

It wasn't too many months later when much to our surprise the next stage in our family came to be. I was pregnant!!!  It happened quickly, but the blessing was enormous. A husband and now a child. The next months seemed to drag on, so ready was I to hold my child in my arms. We quietly celebrated our first anniversary, our 2nd  Christmas together, and then we went to the hospital.

And, the day I had prayed for for most of my life was finally here, I was holding my daughter (YOU) in my arms and sitting next to my husband! I had my family. I remember holding you and thinking "Lord thank you. It took awhile but look--- You answer prayers. I trusted you, I waited on your timing and now I have this precious daughter as proof that your timing is best."

So my little snowflake, never doubt that you are loved. Never doubt that you are wanted. Not only do Mommy and Daddy love you unconditionally but God has been planning for your birth and your life for so long. He loves you even more than we do. He is already working on what He has in mind for your life. So, wait for Him, trust Him and while you wait your Mommy and Daddy will be beside you, guiding you, loving you and supporting you as you grow into God's woman. You are loved so very much. 

Use Your Past, Don't Dwell in It

Not too long ago I was chatting with someone about my upcoming book and plans to travel and talk at churces/schools/colleges/conferences (I'm great, if you need a speaker, think of me! lol) and she made the comment "It seems like you are dwelling in your past when you should just move on."  I disagree.

To dwell means to live or continue in a given condition or state.  I am not living in my past, I'm trying to use it for the glory of God. Yes, that means I frequently have to visit it. I have to dredge up the memories of the most horrific time of my life, but I talk about it, I describe what happened, I don't linger in the drudgery. Where I am dwelling is in the peace of overcoming, of being able to use it. I linger in the joy that yes I was there, but it is no longer my home.

I love the Lord and I am so thankful for all that He has done for me. I am thankful that He was with me even when I didn't recognize Him. I am thankful that He protected me from the evil men, and from myself. I am even thankful (when I am not be selfish) that He saved my Angel from having to experience this world. Angel is right now up there playing on the heavenly swingsets and waiting for us all to be reunited someday. I am thankful that my journey, the good and the bad has lead me to where I am now, and that can only be a God thing.

Right now I have a husband that I adore, and I know he loves me right back. I have a 7 month daughter, and even at 330am sitting on the couch feeding her I am filled with an amazing love (exhaustion too) for how precious she is, and the joy she brings. I have parents that love and sacrifice for my family. I have a sister that is the most understanding, best friend a girl could have. I have in laws that have welcomed me into their family and love me. I have friends that make each day interesting, that support me, and that remind me of the beauty of this world.

I'm dwelling in a pretty good place right now. Yes, there are struggles, mighty ones, but overall by USING my past to show others that no matter what we experience we don't have to dwell in pain. The grace and peace of God, the promise of an eternity too good to even fathom is ours. All we have to do is say "Yes Lord I'm a sinner and need you. It is your work dying on the cross and coming back that allows me to have access to all that you promise."

If you ask my friends, yes I do talk about my struggles, but that I don't dwell there. I'd rather talk about chocolate, my daughter, board games, gardening and just how precious the gifts of Christ are. I use my past, sure, but I don't dwell in it. I dwell in the shelter of the Almighty who is mighty to save, generous in His comfort, and lavish in His peace.

-JLP-