Learning Contentment

As a mom it is important that I teach my child how to live a life that pleases the Lord. In order to do this, I have to be living a God pleasing life. No matter how much we say, how many lectures we give, we all know that our children learn more from our actions than from our words. Words are necessary, but actions will always speak louder.

One of the life keys that I am working on is learning to be more content.  I think it pleases the Lord when we are content, because if we are following God, we are where He wants us and we need to be satisfied with that and enjoy each chapter/setting/pace of life. Contentment should not be confused with complacency. Being content means we are thankful and satisfied with where God has us. Being complacent means we are being lazy and not striving to see how we can serve His kingdom.

Earlier today a friend posted a quote on Facebook and I just love it! I thought y'all would enjoy reading the quote. I think I want to print it up and stick it to our refrigerator so I always see these little pearls of wisdom. The quote comes from Calm My Anxious Heart  by Linda Dillow. Ms. Dillow interviewed a female missionary to Africa. The missionary lived in a mud hut and lived a very kingdom serving and content life. Here is what the missionary said was her secret to Christ honoring contentment:

1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything, not even the weather.
2. Never picture yourself in a different circumstance or someplace else.
3. Never compare your lot with the lot of another.
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
5. Never dwell on tomorrow. Remember it is God's and not ours.

I am going to do my best to incorporate this into my life and my thinking. This doesn't mean I'm not going to strive and seek God's will, but it means that I am going to thankful for all that God gives me, whether it is a little or a lot. I am going to be excited when others are blessed, and I am going to live each day fully in the moments. I am going to look forward to all the growing up and steps my daughter will take, but I am also going to fully embrace each moment with her, knowing that all too soon she will be grown.

I hope y'all have a wonderful Wednesday. Take care and know that you are in my prayers.

-JP-

Pro-Life is Pro-Choice!

Most people by now know my story. I grew up in small town Wyoming, attended a local church, was very active in my youth group and graduated as the valedictorian of my HS class. I then left home for the a Christian university in a big city. There, I was raped and brutalized by 2 men, somehow got pregnant (in many cases rape is too violent for the little swimmers to survive, but pregnancies can happen), when I was about 9 weeks along I miscarried. I then tried to kill myself, but God had other plans. My time here was far from over. That was the beginning of a VERY long journey to joy. My journey was not easy, there were a lot of tours through some dark valleys but I can now say that I have found an abiding joy. It is a joy that gets me through what life throws my way.

All that to say that I feel like I have a leg to stand on when I talk about being pro-life. A lot of pro-choicers will say, "Generally I am pro-life, but what about the woman that is raped and gets pregnant? She shouldn't have to go through all that and then have to live with a constant reminder of the rape." I WAS that woman and regardless of who the daddy was, or the circumstances of conception, that thing in my uterus, that little bundle that died one morning, that was a BABY, it was a living, heart beating little life. It is NOT a fetus but a baby, and that baby deserved to be just as protected as any other baby--planned for or not. Circumstances of conception do not change the fact that life begins at conception.

There has been a law enacted that forces abortion clinics to preform sonograms, and the mothers have to listen to the heart beating and the clinics have to explain what they are hearing.  Some clinics are getting around that law by provided iPods to mothers, so that during the required sonogram the mother doesn't have to listen. Why are clinics do this, because no matter how they cushion it, no matter what terms they give it, that is a baby's heart beating and the clinics deep down recognized that and don't want to traumatize potential clients by making them hear the heart beat of the little life they want to kill.

Yes, finding out that you are pregnant due to a rape is hard to handle. Yes, it means life long consequences, but being raped brings life long consequences. But, you still have choices. You can be pro-life and pro-choice. You can choose to raise your baby or you can choose to let a loving family raise the baby. Adoption is a loving and sacrificial choice.  Adoption says, "I love you enough to realize that this family is in a better position to give you all that you deserve."

My heart hurts for our world. We live in a world where fish have more rights than humans. We live in a world that doesn't know what it believes. When a pregnant woman is killed it is double murder (mother and child) but when it isn't convenient a woman can go in and kill the baby. It is murder when someone else does it, it is problem solving when the mom does the killing. How can we accept this? How can we stand idly by while millions of people are being killed every day???

My little Punky jr. is the world to me, and I can't imagine having ended her life just because she arrived earlier than her dad and I had planned. Every baby deserves a chance at life, and every baby's life begins at conception.  If you are not ready to be a parent, don't have sex, but if you do get pregnant make the mature, the loving, the ONLY real choice and choose not to be a murderer, choose to give the gift of a child to a loving family.

-JLP-

To TV or Not To TV???

I do enjoy television and I know that it can be a topic of contention. Some people think that you shouldn't let your kids watch tv, let them use their imagination, and some parents use it as an electronic babysitter. I think both of those positions are a bit extreme.

Sitcoms and dramas can be fun. They let us escape into another world for a little while. I am quite able to tell the real world from the world of television, but I think that it is fun to see the worlds that are created, to let the characters into my home and my imagination for a little while.

I also let Punky jr. watch tv, and while she does watch NCIS with daddy and mommy we also generally watch more educational shows with her. We like Veggie Tales and other stories that teach us about the Bible and living God's way. I also like the LeapFrog shows I can find on Netflix. For Punky jr. it is shows that can teach her things. After the shows we will talk about what we learned. If it was a show about colors we will pick a color and find things around the house that are that color, or for letters we will find things that begin with the same letter.

I know that my Punky jr. is only 5 months old, but you are never to young, old, sick, tired, busy, etc to learn. Learning is a life long process that for Punky jr. began in the womb. The television is just one tool that we can use to further our education and when we are ready and need it, to take a break and be entertained and enthralled by the imagined worlds and exploits of beloved characters.

-JLP-

PS. Today's photo--taken in February when she was all cuddled up to watch NCIS with Daddy and Mommy! All she needed was some popcorn! 

Yummy!

The high chair has found its spot in the dining room and it is clean! The baby spoons are clean and in the drawer, the bibs are already in use, so yes it is that time! These days doctors say that a baby can start simple solid foods at 4 months.  Punky jr. is 4.5 months and last week she started on rice cereal.

It has taken some time and patience to learn that the stuff on the spoon is food (she eats but then she wants a regular size bottle as well) and will fill up her tummy! Today was the first day that she really seemed to understand that she was eating. It was quite momentous for mommy! My lil Punky jr. is growing up, she is eating!

We will now begin introducing new foods 1 at a time (while keeping up with what she already eats). Thus far it has been formula and now rice cereal. This afternoon begins the carrot adventure. If that goes well, next week we will add sweet potatoes and so on.  I have to say that I am glad she is learning to eat in warm weather-- I can strip her down to just her diaper and protect her clothes!

It wasn't too long ago that rock climbing, gymnastics and jogging an extra mile were the things that thrilled me. Or a super romantic night with my hubby.  Now, I still love those things, but I get the excitement of being on this journey with Punky jr. I get to be beside her as she learns to eat, to crawl, to walk, to talk, to read and write, as she grows up. Each stage is fun and exciting, but also a little sad too.

It is sad because as each new stage starts the previous one ends. Now that my infant is eating solid foods she will never be a newborn anymore. Those days are over. Yes, we have gobs of pictures, but the moments are over. Yet, it is exciting because new moments and new things are happening and I choose to focus on the new and the happy. I love to celebrate all the fun, sweet little steps that Punky jr. takes in her development.

Being a mom is fun. It is exciting. It is exhausting too! Add to all this the fact that we (when I say we you are to read Mommy, but Daddy will do what she says because he really has no other choice) are seriously considering making the switch to cloth diapers. It is expensive to get started, but in the end it should save lots of money and when Punky jr. becomes a big sister, we will all ready have what we need to CD from the beginning!

The sun is bright outside, and inside all in quiet at the moment as Punky jr. and her cousin sleep.  The high chair is sitting at the table awaiting the next meal time! Oh the joys of mommyhood! I wouldn't trade it for anything!

-JLP-

PS. The carrots were not very popular with Punky jr. We will try them again tomorrow!

Go, and Sin No More

430am and the alarm clock in the crib goes off, and another day has begun.  The sun hasn't even visited our valley yet, but Mommy is up and the bottle is ready.  It is hard for me to describe what I do as a job, because while it is work, the hours are long, and parts of it stink (literally. I don't care what people say, poop is poop and poop stinks), but every day I have with Punky jr. is a joy.  

Monday morning in our home started just like any other day, but it was not to end like any other day.  Our marriage was at a crossroads and we both had decisions to make. We had prayers to pray and forgiveness to be sought and given.

Yes, forgiveness was given but that doesn't mean that everything is ok and we just move on like nothing happened. We deal with the problem, we take the steps necessary to fix it, we pray A LOT and we are on guard knowing that the Devil has found a weak spot. 

One thing I have learned as a counselor, a Christian, and just as I grow up and experience life-- there is no problem too big, no sin too large that God will not forgive and be able to help us past. We all make mistakes. Some are larger than others. We all act monumentally stupid, and some acts do have bigger consequences than others, but there is NOTHING that God can't forgive, and we are each called to mimic God, therefore we are called to forgive.

Forgiveness though is sometimes the easy part, moving on can be the hard part. Coping can be hard, marriage is not always easy. It isn't always going to be a honeymoon. Yet, there is always love and a remembrance of why you said your vows.  Counseling is a good way to cope and move on. Having an unbiased 3rd party can help. It isn't a sign of a weak marriage, but of a strong couple, a couple that admits they are vulnerable and need help.  

Forgiveness isn't just for the offended spouse, it is also for the offender. We have to be able to forgive ourselves, to learn from our stupidity and to move on, and as Christ said "Go and sin no more." We can't let ourselves be tied down by our past mistakes.

As parents it is important that we put our marriage at the forefront, that we guard ourselves and our family. It is important that through our actions we teach our children the value we place on forgiveness, on learning to move on and sin no more. We need to teach them that Christ calls us to strive for perfection, but to not beat ourselves up when we do sin. Our children need to learn that there are consequences for screwing up, but once we face the penalty we need to learn the lesson and move on. If Jesus can forgive us and keep on loving us, and not bring up our past, we need to be able to do the same.

This whole issue is easy to talk about, but putting it into practice is HARD. It is easy to bring up past sins when you are arguing with your spouse, to remember all the times  your child broke curfew, to think about all the times you have been slighted.  As easy as that is to do, it is wrong. If a person has paid for their sin, has learned and is genuinely trying to be better to learn and grow, that sin needs to not be brought back up.  It helps nothing.

I am praying that we can all learn to put this into practice and that each of our marriages and lives reflect Christ more and more as we eagerly await His return! 

-JLP-

PS... today's post didn't seem to warrant a picture, since it was a serious subject but more pix will be posted.

PPS... Our marriage is growing and our love is still deep, but that doesn't mean there will not be days like Monday that test it. Satan is always knocking, He likes nothing more than to corrode marriage. 

Mother's Day!

It is that time of the year, the time when we all pause to thank our mom for what she does for the family. It is a time to let her know just how much we love her.  This year is really exciting for the first time since becoming a mother 10 years ago I'll have a child in my arms!

10 years ago and 2.5 months after I got pregnant God called that tiny little child home. I only had her (him?) for a few short weeks. Not even long enough for him (her?) to start kicking me, yet I was still a mother because life DOES begin at conception. I don't care what the politicians and other people say, I don't care how watered down it gets so that abortion is acceptable to the general public. Life begins at conception.

I believe that it would be much harder and the grief is more acute when a baby dies after birth, but still November 2002 came and my arms were empty. The life that was formed in February never had to experience this world. In a way, I'm jealous of my child. To already be up in Heaven dancing and singing praises to Jesus must be amazing!  Yet, I want to meet my child. I wonder all the things a mother wonders about.  It was a life that ended WAY too quickly. No matter the circumstances of conception, and I know I was pretty messed up and scared back then, the moment I realized I was pregnant, I loved that child. That was MY BABY.

As much as I miss the chance to watch my child grow up it has taught me to focus on the here and the now, to be thankful for all that I do have. It took 10 years but I am healthier (spiritually) and Punky not only has the love of her mother, but of her father and whole family as well. This Mother's Day I get to celebrate with my family, I get to hold, sing to and dance with my daughter. I get to kiss her and snuggle, feed her and change her. I get to mother my precious daughter!

So, as I am busy enjoying all the moments with my daughter on this Mother's Day I also plan to take a moment and pray for all those I know that are grieving their empty arms. For those that have had to say good-bye to a child and for those that are still yearning for a child to hold in their arms. Being a mother is a huge blessing, and one that I try not to take for granted, so as you celebrate, as you call the mothers in your life please also join me in praying for the hearts of mothers that have empty arms.

I don't want to end on a sad note, so I'll tell ya that Punky is starting to sit up and balance much better by herself! 4 months old (today!) and accomplishing so much! It is such a joy!!!

-JLP-

My husband is sleeping in the bedroom. Punky is in her crib and she snores these cute little snores, the dog is curled up on her bed, and the cat is in the living with me.  Outside the sun has just come up and a few birds are tweeting "Good morning" to each other. It is very peaceful at the moment.

It is one of those idyllic, country, Spring mornings when all seems right and it is easy to say "Thank you Lord, for everything." God gives us these moments because He knows that we need them. He knows that life can be exhausting and hard and sometimes we just need a break from it all. Time to rest up for the next challenge.

So, when you have a special, quiet moment. Enjoy it. Drink it in and recuperate so that when God calls you to go out and do, or when you are in the midst of a storm, you can say "I'll get through this."

-JLP-