God and Fog

This morning I woke up to a very foggy day. The fog was thick that it hid the cornfield right behind our house. I love fog. It is beautiful and mysterious. The familiar becomes the unknown. Time seems to slow down during a foggy day. Fog is one of God's more unique and expressive ideas.

Fog is also like God and like Christianity. We read the Bible, we pray, we go to church and learn about God. We become familiar with Him. Then we have a day or an experience and all of a sudden God seems hidden, just like the cornfield was this morning. We know that God is there that He hasn't moved, yet we can't see or feel Him as easily. Our knowledge tells us God is still there, but our experience says "I can't see him, I'm lost."

It is very easy to get lost and turned around during a thick fog experience. You can walk in circles and not even know it. I know that in my life I've done this a few times with God. I know where He, and I know who He is, but my experiences have me going in circles and getting nowhere.

What is the answer? Today I just had to wait for the fog to "burn off" and slowly the cornfield was revealed. When it comes to Christ I have to do the same thing. I keep reading and praying and slowly the veil of knowledge and feeling is lifted and once more I am headed in the right direction. It is about faith and trust and knowing that even in the fog God is still there and still watching out for me and that if I am patient I will once more see Him.

-JLP-

Putting On My Big Girl Pants

Do you ever feel totally run down? Between the kids, the pets, taking care of the home, your spouse, and your job life just gets so busy! It can leave a mother EXHAUSTED and feeling like she is running on empty. I have been feeling like this recently. 

I work from home as a self-published author. I take care of the home and our 8 month old daughter. I also have been dealing with trying to get our daughter insurance coverage (this ordeal began when I was pregnant so we are well into the 1 year mark of frustrations upon frustrations). There are times like today when I just want to throw up my arms and say "I'm finished! I have no more to give!". I then want to hop on the train and ride the rails till I find a secluded snowy cabin where I can recharge for a few days. 

Yet, running away is not possible and it will not solve any problems. In fact I'd probably come home to even more, bigger problems! So, I continue on. I keep working on my book and moving quickly toward publication. I savor every moment with my daughter and when I'm on the phone I take a deep breath and say, "Lord help me to win this battle by responding Christ like and remaining faithful. I know you are taking care of us and even this frustration You can handle". I also have found the website Pintrest to be quite therapeutic. I enjoy finding new ways to come up with gifts for house-warmings, birthdays, holidays, etc. I have found lots of good activities to remember as our daughter grows, and I even used some ideas when decorating our home! Pintrest is great for a gal on a TIGHT budget! 

Being a mother is WONDERFUL. Staying home with her everyday and pursuing my dream of becoming a fairly successful author is a dream come true! I am very blessed and I love my position as: wife, mom, author. Yet, as wonderful as it is, it is still life and life comes with stress, so on days like today when I feel like I can't go on I have to remember just how far I've already traveled in my journey with the Lord and I put on my big girl pants, and continue on. 

"Let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1b-2)

I Have a Dream!

Martin Luther King is not the only to ever have a dream, I do too! I have a dream that someday I'll find a church that focuses less on which version of the Bible I read, and more on loving the world.

I have a dream that someday I'll find a church where all people are accepted and loved. I have a dream that someday I'll find a church that focuses on loving the individual first, and offering gentle correction second. Yes, part of our job is to help our brothers and sisters grow, move away from their struggles and into my obedience with Christ. A bigger part is to love each other. The Holy Spirit will do the chastising, but we are called to love.

Think of Jesus. A mob found a woman in the act of committing adultery and brought her to Jesus, expecting him to publicly chastise her, but that isn't how Jesus responded. Jesus chastised the crowd!  Then, when they had some privacy he looks to her with LOVE and then says "Go, and sin no more" Love first, lesson second.  

Many churches today are focused on "Don't do this" or "That's EVIL, how dare you DO that and call yourself a believer!" That is not loving!  Yes, there are absolutes, things that are right and wrong. Too often though we take the sin and in our fear of the sin we make everything around it evil.  The Bible clearly states "Do not get drunk on wine" and all of a sudden drinking is a sin. NO- drunkenness is the sin. If drinking was a sin the Bible would say "Do not drink wine" but it doesn't.

Sex outside of marriage is a sin, and therefore we've made sex INSIDE the confines of marriage seem dirty too. It isn't! Sex is a God prescribed act, not only for procreation but to also draw the spouses together. Sex should be fun, crazy, creative, intimate, etc. Yet, it is seen as dirty because when used wrong it is a sin.

I also think of single parents that I know. A lot of them are not single by choice, yet when they show up alone to church, or with their kids and no spouse the church judges. Maybe not out loud, or to their face, but the church judges "Look here comes Sally Mae, did you know that she doesn't have a husband! I just bet I know why!" or "Look at Billy Bob with his two kids, I bet his wife left him because he can't keep his pants zipped." We think those thoughts (or similar ones) and we don't bother to get to know the person. It could be that divorce happened, but it could be that Sally Mae lost her husband in Afghanistan or due to an illness, or maybe he was abusing her and the kids and she got out.

One of my heartbeat issues is abortion. I abhor that it is legal and a daily practice. Yet, as much as I shout my hatred for the ACT, I still love the woman. I know that there are many circumstances where you find yourself between a rock and a hard place and in a time of GREAT emotional upheaval, fear, coercion, etc, you go to the clinic. That isn't going to change my love and respect for you as a person, as a child of our Creator. You need to go and sin no more.

Am I the perfect Christian? GOSH NO! I live with myself and I know that I am an utter failure and totally in need of God's grace and forgiveness, on a daily basis. I screw up and sin all the time. I fail in my quest to perfectly serve my Lord. Yet, that doesn't stop me from trying, from dreaming, from looking and saying THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE! It needs to change in my life and in the church as a whole.

I want to be better, to better reflect Christ, to better serve those that I love and have a heart for. I want to see the church, which I love do a better job. I really want Christ to come back so we can end our struggles and just focus on bowing down and serving our Savior, King, Bridegroom.

Till that, I will shout what I believe, I will continue to dream that we can all grow and learn to focus on what really matters to our Savior, and I will continue to seek His heart & life, so that my heart can reflect His. I will continue to teach my daughter to grow up serving the Lord, and enjoying the Lord.

-JLP-
And with that, I quietly step off my Soapbox! ;-) 

Baby Steps

I thought that I was somewhat prepared for motherhood, and in many ways I was and in a plethora of ways I was not. I grew up around children of all ages. I love children and who (with a heart) does not love babies!?! I have a lot of experience as a child care provider (nanny, babysitter, cousin, aunt, etc) but experience can only prepare you so much. 

Experience has taught me many things I need to know: how to feed my child, what to feed my child, how to burp, bathe and change my child. I have learned many tricks to calm a fussy baby, to entertain baby and to help baby grow and develop. Experience taught me that babies grow and change quickly.

Experience did NOT teach me just how much I would love my lil Snowflake or how hard it would be to leave her in God's hands and not worry all the time. I find myself worried EVERY night. I am turning into THAT mom. I am turning into the mom that checks on her baby 5 times a night because I am afraid something is wrong if I don't hear her snoring over the monitor (I don't even really need the monitor she is right across the hall). I worry that she is too warm or too cold. 

I don't want to be THAT MOM! I want to be the mom that takes care of her child(ren), that showers them with love and discipline, that helps them grow in a nurturing way. I want to be a godly example to my children, and letting myself worry about EVERYTHING is not godly. Worry says to God "I don't trust you". I do trust God and I know that my worry isn't going to change anything. She is ultimately in God's hands whether I surrender myself to that knowledge or not. 

So, I am taking baby steps and slowly learning that being a mom is a privilege, joy and stressful. Being a mom is so much fun (but also exhausting). Being a mom is many things, but it should not be a life full of worry. I am taking baby steps to remind myself to pray every time I get worried, to remind myself that I do know what I am doing as a mom, I have a good support system of fellow moms and even more I serve the living God that loves me and loves my little Snowflake.

Just as the little Snowflake is taking baby steps every day in her growth and development, I too am taking baby steps in my growth as a mom, and it feels great! 

-JLP-

Learning Contentment

As a mom it is important that I teach my child how to live a life that pleases the Lord. In order to do this, I have to be living a God pleasing life. No matter how much we say, how many lectures we give, we all know that our children learn more from our actions than from our words. Words are necessary, but actions will always speak louder.

One of the life keys that I am working on is learning to be more content.  I think it pleases the Lord when we are content, because if we are following God, we are where He wants us and we need to be satisfied with that and enjoy each chapter/setting/pace of life. Contentment should not be confused with complacency. Being content means we are thankful and satisfied with where God has us. Being complacent means we are being lazy and not striving to see how we can serve His kingdom.

Earlier today a friend posted a quote on Facebook and I just love it! I thought y'all would enjoy reading the quote. I think I want to print it up and stick it to our refrigerator so I always see these little pearls of wisdom. The quote comes from Calm My Anxious Heart  by Linda Dillow. Ms. Dillow interviewed a female missionary to Africa. The missionary lived in a mud hut and lived a very kingdom serving and content life. Here is what the missionary said was her secret to Christ honoring contentment:

1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything, not even the weather.
2. Never picture yourself in a different circumstance or someplace else.
3. Never compare your lot with the lot of another.
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
5. Never dwell on tomorrow. Remember it is God's and not ours.

I am going to do my best to incorporate this into my life and my thinking. This doesn't mean I'm not going to strive and seek God's will, but it means that I am going to thankful for all that God gives me, whether it is a little or a lot. I am going to be excited when others are blessed, and I am going to live each day fully in the moments. I am going to look forward to all the growing up and steps my daughter will take, but I am also going to fully embrace each moment with her, knowing that all too soon she will be grown.

I hope y'all have a wonderful Wednesday. Take care and know that you are in my prayers.

-JP-

Where is My Faith

There is nothing more wonderful than playing with a giggling, smiling, happy little baby.  This morning has been somewhat idyllic, though not very productive (in the house work arena).  Little miss Piglet has been more playful than ever and I've loved EVERY minute of it.  Yet, now as I have a few minutes to myself  I am reflecting on a few things.

One of the main things that is on my mind today is the idea of faith and where I put my faith.  I trust in the Lord Jesus Christ.  I know that I am a sinner that He came to earth, lived a perfect life, gave himself up to die, rose again and is now my only route to Heaven.  I know and I am so very thankful for His gift of salvation.    While I trust Him with my soul I sometimes have trouble trusting Him with my daily life.  Weird if you think about it.

When I was pregnant with miss Piglet (she earned that nickname by the way, and it is said all in love) I lived to feel her kick, move, hiccup and for the doctor appointments when we got to hear her little heart beating.  There is nothing more reassuring than hearing the heart beat and having the doctor tell you that everything looks good.  In all my worry to have a healthy baby I forgot to trust Christ.  My faith was in what I could see, hear and feel, not in the Creator.

So often I do that. I trust what I can see, I trust the tangible things of this world.  Things that so often fail me, when I should remember that since I've trusted Christ for my very salvation, I should trust Him for what amounts to be the little things.  Since God loves me enough to take care of my soul, why wouldn't He love me enough to take care of my daily needs? D and I do our best to take care of miss Piglet's needs, and God is the ultimate, perfect Father, so of course our Abba will care for us.

-JLP-

Praying that y'all remember to put your trust in the Lord and even when it seems hard, or when you don't have physical proof of something, that you will remember that God is here, God is good, and God loves us perfectly.